thanks for the ride

Dragging my feet to my office from the Community Center where I gave my morning lesson, I thought that if I toppled over and fainted in this freakish heat, it wouldn't be any surprise. For one, I've been short on sleep these past few days for a million reasons, and it was taking it's toll on my body. Then of course, the summer heat hasn't been easing up at all, and since it was noon with the sun high in the sky, I felt like someone was trying to cook me for lunch! I had forgotten my sunglasses, so I was squinting like an idiot and I had also forgotten to put on sunscreen so my poor skin was taking a direct hit! Every step I took seemed like a miracle. I had this expression on that could kill ants. And right when I just about had enough of the torture, I heard 2 loud honks directly behind me!

I jumped and spun around, finding myself face-to-face with one of my students from the Community Center on his motorcycle. 
"Wanna ride?" He asked, and I swear he was glowing! Was that a halo over his head? Ah, ... shiny white helmet reflecting the sunlight. Whatever! Who cares?! I was sick of walking and complaining!
"Absolutely! Thanks!" I said, as  I let him take my bags and balance them in the front. (still not sure how he did it. )  He then got off his bike, and pulled out a shiny red helmet from the seat which swung open, and plopped it on my head. It was a beautiful helmet. I felt butterflies in my stomach. The color red does that to me. I was so excited!

He got back on his bike and told me to hop on to which I 'ooohed' and 'aheed' and clapped my hands over, but it all of a sudden hit me: Get on that.... thing? How on earth am I suppose to get on and stay on unless I hold on to my student for dear life? And holding onto my student for dear life was not an option! He's my good-looking, married, 50-some year old student who announced to the whole class when I first started teaching them that he would quit if I was ever to be replaced by another teacher, that I was the only teacher he wanted. Also, he took a picture of me on his cell-phone, saying he wanted to show his family and friends his new English teacher. He also came up to me at the end of one of the classes to show off his new jeans he just bought, explaining how well they fit him, etc. I hesitated as these thoughts rushed through my tired mind. 

For a few seconds.

Ah, fuck it!  I clumsily got on the back, doing an excellent job not to use him to stable my balance, and off we went! I was freaked out of my mind! Well, c'mon! It was my first time EVER on a motorcycle, and we were zooming between cars and trucks, and so on and so forth! AND I wasn't holding on to anything! My hands were balled up into fists, and I think I might have ground my teeth once or twice. But I must say, it was exhilarating! The wind against my skin, and the speed, and the possibility of being tossed off and losing a limb or two gave me this unfamiliar adrenaline that got me beaming from ear to ear like a freak. This dude, my student, just made my day! 

He got me to the station in record time, and with a 'If you ever need a ride again, hope I can lend you a hand', he was off. Totally, totally cool!

Anyway, check out my Zara jacket! Words fail me,... it's just adorable!

Date Night with Bunny

Like I've mentioned before, every Wednesday is what Boris and I like to call 'Date Night', where we simply spend the evening together going to various restaurants, or catch a film at the cinema. Last Date Night, we decided to drink our hearts our at Syzeria! Not my first choice, (or second, or third...) but it is without question a cheap place to drink and eat. And not everything on their menu is putrid like most of their pastas are!

It was fun!

clean + zara

When it's as hot as it is today, going out of your way to break a sweat just doesn't cross one's mind. This is why my apartment has been piling up on the dust and stray hairs and other such things. Not necessarily because of neglect to clean, but more like the result of one trying to NOT dehydrate and melt into a puddle because of too much energy spent scrubbing and wiping. 

But there is a limit to how much filth and mess I can tolerate, and I decided to not wait until I reach that limit as it's quite a forgiving one. After a sweaty work out (Tipness is closed due to Obon) I pulled out the rags and the cleaners and spent the rest of my morning scrubbing and cleaning away! Yes, it was a big operation, and thanks to the heat, I had sweat pouring down my face. But after all was said and done, I feel great and I'm glad I did it. Nothing beats a tidy, clean house. 

Anyhow, check out this awesome tunic I bought at Zara!! Wooohooo!

obon

I've been counting the days for my Obon Holiday, and now that it's finally here I am in complete bliss! I painted my nails, I sorted and picked out holiday clothes, and I've been paying my respects to the bars I love! So far, I must say that I've been having a lovely start to Obon, and I can see that things will be picking up fast! I'll make sure it does.

The only two things that I think are less than perfect are that Boris has work during my days off, and that I'm a little short on cash. Oh, and also that I feel like I'm stepping into some kind of torture-by-heat-and-humidity-machine each time I step out the door! Really, this heat has got to give us a breather soon! What is it trying to do, kill everyone? Ugh!

Anyway, check out my awesome new 'thing' from Zara!! LOVE IT!

outfit

Like it simple. 

 

I'm blogging again! Wee hoo!

glasses

 Sometimes, when I've had a long night and my eyes are all puffy from too much DVD watching, drinking, or whatever I've been doing, or when I just want to look smarter, I get out my glasses! They are an excellent concealer, and helps cover up things that foundation can't. It's Zara, of course.

 

Christmas Eve

It's day two of my winter vacation and I started it off by lugging a very heavy, half-broaken suitcase, stuffed with a variety of presents for my siblings and, well,... bottles of alcoholic delight for me and Boris to share, to the Yoyogi JR bus station. At 10:20am, I found myself on a bus that would take me back up to Nasu and family for Christmas. It was a smooth and relaxing bus ride, thanks to the fact that there was no traffic, the weather was lovely, and no one was occupying the seat next to me. The only thing lacking was a can of beer which I was planning on picking up on a rest-station on the way. Upon arriving to the rest-stop though, I was horrified to find out that they didn't have beer or any alcohol for that matter!!  So wrong!

When i saw Boris, Yuya and Nonny waiting to pick me up at my bus stop, I was soooooooo excited and overwhelmed with happy emotions I almost didn't feel the biting cold air that hit me when the doors to the bus flung open! It's good to be back in Nasu! It's good to be at Mom and Dad's place. I missed it all--the pollution-free air, the peaceful atmosphere, and even the smell of cow!

I spent my day catching up and chilling with siblings, and, believe it or not, cooking dinner!! All that for not wanting to be in the kitchen during my stay here! Damn the camels nose!!

I cooked a chicken, eggplant pasta.

Then I spent the rest of the evening with my daaaaahling over cake, strawberries, sparklingi wine and chocolate! Best . Christmas . Eve . EVER!!

it is finished

It is finished!!

Yesterday was my last day of work for the year, and I'm feeling soooooooooooo good! Starting from today, I have around 2 weeks off from teaching, and I am at loss for words to describe how relieved and relaxed I am right now as I sit on the floor of my room in front of the heater, just being. Coldplay is playing in the background. I'm alone. It's perfect. I don't have to mind anybody. I don't have to fuss about the students I'll be teaching the next day. I don't have to plan any lessons. I'm loving the stillness of everything. I want to take this moment--this slice of perfection--and make it last forever.

Unfortunately, wishful thinking doesn't help or change anything. All good things have the tendency to come to an end. Annoying, but it's OK, especially when I've got better things to look forward to! Like Boris, for example. If there's going to be noise, if there's going to be any kind of talking and listening going on for me this holiday, it might as well be with people I love--Boris, other siblings, Mom, Dad, and a few other dear friends.

I really miss her. She's one person I feel I can really be myself around, all the good and all the bad, without the fear of being accepted or misjudged. I can be who I really am without the need I sometimes feel to impress, to be strong, to entertain, or being careful about what's coming out of my mouth. Our friendship somehow holds through everything. I can be weak with her. I can let myself be the mess that I am, and I know she'll still love me the same. I'm so glad we're spending this winter vacation together! I'm even more glad that she's going to be living with me in Tokyo next year!

hayaku!!

I'm excited! I've only got 3 more days of work before I enter my long awaited, much deserved (?) winter vacation!! Can somebody please fast-forward time to the 23rd? I want to get on with my life!! I want to see Boris! I want to be breathing in fresh air and drinking clean water! I want to eat home-made food! I want to see my siblings!

weird men. ew!

A few weeks ago while I was walking around a nearby department store during break time, an old man approached me out of the blue and handed me a piece of paper:

ちょっと後で読んでみてください。

It was weird. I gave him a very blank, quizzical stare and raised an eyebrow, stuffed the piece of paper in my pocket, turned around and walked off. I had nothing to say to him, and besides I'm quite leery of men who come up and talk to me, as they often end up to just be your average, horny, slightly pervy dude, hoping for a date or a one-night-stand. To be honest though, I initially thought this old man was different (that with the note and all). I thought he might be one of those fortune tellers who randomly receive premonitions about random people he randomly meets, and gives them prophecies that he receives for them. I was very wrong.

On my way back to my office, I pulled the piece of paper from my pocket and gave it a quick skim. It was instantly obvious to me that it wasn't a prophecy at all. What first caught my eye out of the messy, hand written note was '30-40万'. What caught my eye after that was a phone number. After connecting the dots and being hit over the head with the realization that the note I was holding in my hand was really a proposal to be this man's personal .... well, whore, and making my 'ewww-grose-face', I picked up the pace and did my best to hurry in my new, decently-heeled-boots, (awesome for making my legs look long and not-so-fat, but horrible when you need to rush it). I felt anxious and kept looking over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't being followed. What a creep!!

As soon as I reached my office, I heaved a gigantic sigh of relief and disgust and sank in my chair. I took out the piece of paper and this time gave it a decent read. A rough summary of the note would be that he wanted to 'date' me, and for every 'date' he would offer anywhere between 300-400,000 yen. 2-3 times a week would be nice. He's 61 years old (Ew!) and owns his own company. The last girl he was 'dating' had graduated from uni and was moving to a different country and he was interested in looking for another...well, date. He's in a hurry to catch an appointment, but if I could kindly leave a message at the number he had written, he would get back to me ASAP.

Wow. Seriously? Seriously??? Ran to the bathroom and stared into the mirror, raised my eyebrows, asked myself: Seriously? How many weird old men do I have to meet before I meet someone decent?! I think I'm a magnet for strange, horny, old pervs. If not that, then married, engaged, divorced!! I need a break. SERIOUSLY!

P.S

My finger '(which I had accidentally sliced while attempting to cook after a night out drinking ) is healing up. The image bellow was taken a week after the incident, and now after 2 weeks, it looks very different but not any prettier, unfortunately. Since I had decided against getting stitched up at a hospital, the cut kept opening up, and healed in such a way that it looks like a,...well,...healed open cut. It's VERY unattractive. VERY sad.

feel gross

Whew!. My diet, which has been laden with alcohol, oily izakaya food, and junk from Lawson, is taking it's toll on me and I feel sluggish and contaminated! There have been 8 drinking events since entering December, and I'm glad to finally be able to say that there are only 2 more to go before I leave for fresh and crisp Nasu to celebrate Christmas with my family.

It's definitely a festive time, and I sincerely enjoy drinking and talking with my students, but it's far from relaxing! Having to always watch what you say, making sure that you're not offending anyone, smiling, being generally happy, and listening and acting like you understand can become quite exhausting, even if all of this is done sitting down with a drink in hand. I, for one, desperately need a break! Thankfully, I've only got 4 more working days before my first day of a long vacation! Yeeessss!

It's been a good year of experiencing and learning for me, and I feel like I've made a lot of progress in so many areas of my life. Although it wasn't always easy, I can honestly say that it has been a great year. I can't wait to celebrate how great 2011 has been for me with best friend Boris! Let's rock it, hun!

Below is a picture of me and my 'crazy women' student group! 

hair

I can be a bit impulsive at times.
I felt a great need to for a change this morning, and decided to settle with an inexpensive, quick-and-snappy one. Grabbed a pair of kitchen scissors and snipped twice. Voila! I cut myself some bangs, and I got what I wanted: change!

perks

Eiko says...

There are so many things I dislike about English teaching, but it definitely has its perks.

Just today, one of my students excitedly presented me with a large paper bag after we exchanged our traditional 'how are yous?' and the 'and yous?'
"I thought you'd like it. I hope you do, anyway." she said as she watched as I peered inside the bag. Like it? I LOVED it!

I don't know how it's like with other English teacher's and how their relationships with their students are like, but my students seem to be obsessed with giving me gifts of all kinds whenever they have the opportunity. Not that I mind, really. There couldn't be a healthier obsession than to get your 'Eiko-sensei' a souvenir from your trip to Europe, or your short vacation to Okinawa, or some jewelery from your weekend in Ginza, or that coffee on your way to class.

By the way, what I found in the paper bag was a beautiful, pricey-looking leather coat! Apparently she thought the flats I was wearing last week while teaching her would go very well with the leather coat, and therefore decided that the coat just had to be mine! I think the coat actually goes better with my boots, but that's such a minor detail! The flats did it for her, and I've got a new coat!

I've also received from my students...

*home-made jewelery
*a diamond necklace
*home made Umeshu
*cosmetics
*face-packs from Korea
*confectioneries from a 5 star hotel
*horseback riding tickets
*Valentine chocolate
*sweets from all over Japan and wherever they last visited
*a bottle of expensive rum
*and did I mention the leather jacket??
*AND they take you out for meals and drinks!! Their treat!

I've got awesome students! I really, really do!

Me and the awesome face pack from Korea, courtesy of one of my student's vacation

ganbaranaito

Eiko says...

My life follows two cycle, generally speaking. I have my self-destructive cycle and I call the other one the self-productive cycle.

When I'm in self-destructive mode, I drink, smoke and eat with the word 'destruction' behind all my actions, influencing everything. Everything I do tends to reflect that word during this time. I find packs of empty M.reds all over my room. A decent collection of empty bottles of wine accumulates on the corner table, and the garbage bin for cans fills up twice as quickly. I'm inconsistent with my work outs. I feel sluggish, lethargic, drowsy, sleepy, unmotivated, and moody.

When I'm in self-productive mode, I stay far away from alcohol, I eat clean, and my consumption rate for cigarettes drops to less than one pack a week. I work out at every opportunity, and I'm happier, cleaner, and fitter. I'm more alert, and I get more accomplished. I turn down drinking gatherings, and I sleep early. My skin clears up.

Right now, I'm struggling to climb out of my self-destructive cycle. I know that if I don't soon, my obsession for drinking and cigarettes will be too hard to break free from. It's not easy as it is already, and this particular self-destructive cycle has been going on for a bit longer than usual. It's taking it's toll on me, and the scary part about it all is that I'm getting comfortable in my bad habits. It's not good.

emo . penie

Eiko says...

It's relaxing right now. On the table is a glass of wine. Soothing music is playing in the background. There is a cigarette in my hand. I'm in comfortable clothes. I have a place I can call my own. I find thoughts racing through my mind...

It's almost been a year since I started working at my present work place and looking back, I can see that I'm a completely different person now on so many levels. So many things happened. So many things have changed. I've been through so many new experiences. I've experienced so many highs and so many lows. Each decision I've made through the multiple experiences I've been through this year has changed and defined me, and yet I still find myself wondering who I really am and what I want to be a year from now and farther.

I find myself thinking if I've ever been through 'enough' pain and hurt. When have I been through enough pain and heartbreak? Is there even an enough point? If there isn't, is there a way to deal with the pain that life tends to throw at you at random?

I know I'm young. I know I've got years ahead of me and that I don't need to live up to the expectations of those around me. But having tasted hell and having met its servants, and knowing that life has only started for me , the possibility that what I've been through is just the beginning is one heck of a disturbing thought. I want to call stops to the sands of time. I feel like I deserve better and at the same time, like I deserve nothing beautiful, nothing good....just nothing.

When will it be enough?

How effing EMO was that?

Disgusted beyond words, I'll tell you a very amusing story of mine, from a few weeks back.

Amusing yet Disturbing Story:

I was on my way to work, one crispy morning when I saw the most disturbing thing EVER!
Across from me and slighty to my right,-- when I was glancing around like I usually do to check my surroundings,--I saw a 30(ish), constipated, not-so-very-good-looking man of average height on the opposite side of the train in baggy knee-high shorts and a T. Whatever. His appearance is so unimportant compared to what I saw, due to Mr. Constipated not wearing any undergarments!!

From where I was sitting, I could clearly see his semi-hard 'private bits' peaking through one side of his baggy shorts! I could get into details...purple and pink, bigger than average, semi hard...EW !! Ok, I'm grossing myself out! I'll stop there.

I was so disturbed I wanted to take my eye balls out of my eye sockets and disinfect them with the strongest bleach known to man!! So sicked out, I quickly turned my head and gagged.

Now, after one sees something so outrageous, they often, despite not wanting to see it again, tend to glance back to check if they actually saw what they saw. They want to see if it wasn't their sick imagination playing tricks on them, if it's still there or not. I was no exception. I kept finding myself gingerly and subconsciously glancing back to Mr. Constipated's direction, and each time being confirmed that it really wasn't just my sick imagination. That it was actually there, staring me and everyone else in the face! Turn my head. Gaaaaggg! Puke!

Mr. Constipated, I don't know if you use the Toneri Liner on a regular basis, or if you always look that constipated. In fact, I don't know anything about you and don't care to either. But PLEASE wear boxers, or boxer briefs, or Ts, or SOMETHING, ...ANYTHING, just in case I happen to bump into you again!

And although I'd love to finish this post, the degree of intoxication is too high to write anything coherent.

Will try to be more faithful with blogging, my dear blog-followers.

Cheers and enjoy the effng weekend!

my drug

Eiko....

We all have our drugs, our obsessions, our addictions.
For some, it's the need to read the paper in the morning. For others, it's their cup (or x amount of cups) of coffee. It may be an ice cream in the evening, or a cigarette during a lunch break. It could be an episode of a TV series they are going through, or a certain band, singer or song. It could easily be a certain 'someone'. Without a dose of these things, we tend to become edgy, easily annoyed and fidgety. Our moods are greatly affected when we find out we won't have time or can't afford to engage in our addictions, and we simply can't get our minds off of thinking about the next time we'll be getting our 'fix'.

I've got a few.

*a beer after work
*cup noodles after a night out drinking/clubbing
*cigarettes when I'm drinking
*a coffee at least once a day
*facebook (ouch!!)

and the list goes on.

My most recent drug though is shopping. I think some call this being a shopaholic. But it's not just any random shopping. When it comes to clothes, it has to be at Zara! This sucks for me, because I pass by Zara everyday on my way to work! Seeing their latest selections through the display window and NOT buying anything requires a great deal of self-control, and I don't have a lot of the stuff.

I also don't have a lot of money! I must do something about this...

Here's the latest!

A casual T.



and a loose throw over shirt

more stuff

Eiko says...

I found this very thin fabriced dress shirt and figured it would be convenient to have at the office, so I bought myself one. As I'm sure you've guessed, it's Zara. Great cut, easy to match up with other items of clothing, and very suzushii. What's not to like, eh?



Ken and I hung out last night over these! An amazing combination of crackers, smoked salmon, cheese and black pepper! The only missing ingredient to perfection was a chilled chardonnay to go with it. Great job, Ken.

holiday begin

Eiko says...

1:26am, tipsy, relaxed, happy, relieved that I was able to make the last train home, amused that I had to break into my own house due to all the keys to my apartment being lost by idiots, loving friends, listening to 'More Than Words' by Extreme, and am beginning a 9-day payed-holiday.

Life is a truly beautiful thing. Although full of disappointments, there are flickers of beauty that far out-shine, and at this moment, I can't help but reflect on those past and present moments of beauty and feel like the luckiest alive on the planet.

Let the fun begin!

Life is damn good!

es sick

Eiko says...

Four days and counting till my summer vacation, and I can hardly wait! Boris will be coming down to spend a few days with me, and we've got very wicked things planned this time around. So, as long as I don't have a heat stroke, collapse and die, I should be having the time of my life in just a few days! I think I can manage to hold myself together until then. Besides, work isn't all that difficult. I enjoy English teaching overall, and the best part is that our office keeps the cooling system running at a healthy level. We contribute to the energy saving in other ways like turning the lights off during the day etc. as opposed to torturing ourselves by turning our English school into a sauna. People aren't paying us to sweat and lose water weight. They pay us to study and to become geeky and successful!

Anyway, that's probably a big part of the reason why I'm still functioning. Although, there's something else that's been eating away at me little by little which has been pushing me to my limit! And not in a good way, either!

It has come to my attention that a great deal of neglect (NOT, mind you, on my part) of cleaning after one's self has been accumulating over sometime around the kitchen and dining room area of my flat. Whenever I have time to notice, I have been making an effort to clean up the mess and left-out food that ppl tend to leave out before or after an understandably long day at work. Recently though, I haven't been able to clean up more than just after myself, and that has been manifesting itself in the sick form of FLEAS! Furious, I dedicated a day-off to scrubbing every inch of my flat, but there are still fleas flying around (although noticeably less than before). It's just sick! I'm not talking about 5 or 7 fleas happily announcing their presence around the garbage bin and the kitchen sink drain. I'm talking about fleas in the bathroom, in the bedrooms, in the kitchen and dinning room area, in the hallways and closets! In these temperatures that we're all experiencing right now, the consequences of leaving any kind of food out even just over night, (or less) is disastrous! I feel like murder!

I finished venting. I'm going to focus on the awesome pairs of shoes I recently purchased and how comfortable they were walking in today. I'm going to start breathing now.

Black nail polish ftw!
It's actually not black. It's deep purple. I just painted on four coats of polish, and you can hardly tell it's purple unless in sunlight. I kinda like that! It's more classy!

perfect sunday

Eiko says...

I was in very high spirits ever since last night after exerting myself with a mid-night workout, that I decided to treat myself to a hair cut. I'm actually trying to grow my hair out, but I've got hair enough for 3, and it was getting to be far too heavy for this year's summer. So I asked my barber to just layer and thin my hair out for me without changing the length. She did a decent enough job, and I was generally happy with her work.
I ended my day with a bit of shopping at my all-time-favorite shopping place--Nishiarai Ario. I think I made some pretty good purchases today that I'm flipping over as of now. All around, today was nothing short of perfect!

The new hair.
My barber curled my hair a little at the end, so the length of my hair is actually around 10cm or so longer than shoulder length.
I briefly considered bangs, but that thought was almost instantly disposed of by me. It's just way too hot for bangs and they also require far too much work to keep them looking decent.


The shopping.
I LOVE Randa! When it comes to shoes, the first place that comes to mind for shopping is this shoe store. They've got awesome shoes that are trendy, but also original and they offer excellent quality. Their foot wear is generally comfortable as well--a huge plus in my books. You have no idea how excited I was when I found out that they were doing a massive clearance sale! The majority of the shoes were over 50% off! Made my day!



And I saw this tunic and fell in love... so I bought it.




Tadaaimaaa~!
Man! I'm so proud of myself for walking in 'this heat' in heals with all of that stuff for 4 hours without collapsing somewhere and passing out! I mean, just breathing normally without sweating buckets is next to impossible these days.


Dinner.
I made a sea-food salad after a long day out, and washed it all down with beer! Best way EVER to end a day.