perks

Eiko says...

There are so many things I dislike about English teaching, but it definitely has its perks.

Just today, one of my students excitedly presented me with a large paper bag after we exchanged our traditional 'how are yous?' and the 'and yous?'
"I thought you'd like it. I hope you do, anyway." she said as she watched as I peered inside the bag. Like it? I LOVED it!

I don't know how it's like with other English teacher's and how their relationships with their students are like, but my students seem to be obsessed with giving me gifts of all kinds whenever they have the opportunity. Not that I mind, really. There couldn't be a healthier obsession than to get your 'Eiko-sensei' a souvenir from your trip to Europe, or your short vacation to Okinawa, or some jewelery from your weekend in Ginza, or that coffee on your way to class.

By the way, what I found in the paper bag was a beautiful, pricey-looking leather coat! Apparently she thought the flats I was wearing last week while teaching her would go very well with the leather coat, and therefore decided that the coat just had to be mine! I think the coat actually goes better with my boots, but that's such a minor detail! The flats did it for her, and I've got a new coat!

I've also received from my students...

*home-made jewelery
*a diamond necklace
*home made Umeshu
*cosmetics
*face-packs from Korea
*confectioneries from a 5 star hotel
*horseback riding tickets
*Valentine chocolate
*sweets from all over Japan and wherever they last visited
*a bottle of expensive rum
*and did I mention the leather jacket??
*AND they take you out for meals and drinks!! Their treat!

I've got awesome students! I really, really do!

Me and the awesome face pack from Korea, courtesy of one of my student's vacation

oughta

Eiko says...

-I need to cut back on...

*smoking
*drinking
*eating junk food
*shopping at conbinis
*shopping at Zara
*browsing Facebook
*daydreaming
*being depressed

-I need to put a greater emphasis on...

*planning upcoming lessons,
*working-out
*eating healthy
*cleaning after myself
*taking care of my complexion
*thinking pretty thoughts
*prioritizing
*keeping in contact with friends
*planning ahead

-I'm looking forward to...

*spending Christmas with my family
*spending Winter Vacation with Boris
*every new weekend
*my new full paycheck
*meeting Shane again (if it's ever gunna happen)
*my next winter shopping spree (whenever that's gunna be...)
*the next Desperate Housewives episode to come out

-I'm dreading...

*my destructive cycle
*being depressed
*not being payed
*being lonely
*gaining weight over winter vacation (inevitable)
*teaching a particular student
*the day after tomorrow

ganbaranaito

Eiko says...

My life follows two cycle, generally speaking. I have my self-destructive cycle and I call the other one the self-productive cycle.

When I'm in self-destructive mode, I drink, smoke and eat with the word 'destruction' behind all my actions, influencing everything. Everything I do tends to reflect that word during this time. I find packs of empty M.reds all over my room. A decent collection of empty bottles of wine accumulates on the corner table, and the garbage bin for cans fills up twice as quickly. I'm inconsistent with my work outs. I feel sluggish, lethargic, drowsy, sleepy, unmotivated, and moody.

When I'm in self-productive mode, I stay far away from alcohol, I eat clean, and my consumption rate for cigarettes drops to less than one pack a week. I work out at every opportunity, and I'm happier, cleaner, and fitter. I'm more alert, and I get more accomplished. I turn down drinking gatherings, and I sleep early. My skin clears up.

Right now, I'm struggling to climb out of my self-destructive cycle. I know that if I don't soon, my obsession for drinking and cigarettes will be too hard to break free from. It's not easy as it is already, and this particular self-destructive cycle has been going on for a bit longer than usual. It's taking it's toll on me, and the scary part about it all is that I'm getting comfortable in my bad habits. It's not good.

emo . penie

Eiko says...

It's relaxing right now. On the table is a glass of wine. Soothing music is playing in the background. There is a cigarette in my hand. I'm in comfortable clothes. I have a place I can call my own. I find thoughts racing through my mind...

It's almost been a year since I started working at my present work place and looking back, I can see that I'm a completely different person now on so many levels. So many things happened. So many things have changed. I've been through so many new experiences. I've experienced so many highs and so many lows. Each decision I've made through the multiple experiences I've been through this year has changed and defined me, and yet I still find myself wondering who I really am and what I want to be a year from now and farther.

I find myself thinking if I've ever been through 'enough' pain and hurt. When have I been through enough pain and heartbreak? Is there even an enough point? If there isn't, is there a way to deal with the pain that life tends to throw at you at random?

I know I'm young. I know I've got years ahead of me and that I don't need to live up to the expectations of those around me. But having tasted hell and having met its servants, and knowing that life has only started for me , the possibility that what I've been through is just the beginning is one heck of a disturbing thought. I want to call stops to the sands of time. I feel like I deserve better and at the same time, like I deserve nothing beautiful, nothing good....just nothing.

When will it be enough?

How effing EMO was that?

Disgusted beyond words, I'll tell you a very amusing story of mine, from a few weeks back.

Amusing yet Disturbing Story:

I was on my way to work, one crispy morning when I saw the most disturbing thing EVER!
Across from me and slighty to my right,-- when I was glancing around like I usually do to check my surroundings,--I saw a 30(ish), constipated, not-so-very-good-looking man of average height on the opposite side of the train in baggy knee-high shorts and a T. Whatever. His appearance is so unimportant compared to what I saw, due to Mr. Constipated not wearing any undergarments!!

From where I was sitting, I could clearly see his semi-hard 'private bits' peaking through one side of his baggy shorts! I could get into details...purple and pink, bigger than average, semi hard...EW !! Ok, I'm grossing myself out! I'll stop there.

I was so disturbed I wanted to take my eye balls out of my eye sockets and disinfect them with the strongest bleach known to man!! So sicked out, I quickly turned my head and gagged.

Now, after one sees something so outrageous, they often, despite not wanting to see it again, tend to glance back to check if they actually saw what they saw. They want to see if it wasn't their sick imagination playing tricks on them, if it's still there or not. I was no exception. I kept finding myself gingerly and subconsciously glancing back to Mr. Constipated's direction, and each time being confirmed that it really wasn't just my sick imagination. That it was actually there, staring me and everyone else in the face! Turn my head. Gaaaaggg! Puke!

Mr. Constipated, I don't know if you use the Toneri Liner on a regular basis, or if you always look that constipated. In fact, I don't know anything about you and don't care to either. But PLEASE wear boxers, or boxer briefs, or Ts, or SOMETHING, ...ANYTHING, just in case I happen to bump into you again!

And although I'd love to finish this post, the degree of intoxication is too high to write anything coherent.

Will try to be more faithful with blogging, my dear blog-followers.

Cheers and enjoy the effng weekend!

atsu

Eiko says...

I just finished a very insane week at work. It's not like I had extra classes or that my students decided to collectively gang up on me or anything. For some strange reason though, I felt tired and contaminated all week long. NO, it's not because I've been drinking on week nights. I'm consistent with my work-out regime. I eat enough. I only smoke when I'm binge drinking....

It's gotta be the heat! Like 'duh' it's the heat!! The awful stench in the trains during rush hour when your nose is pressed into someone else's arm pit confirms this. All the sweat marks around the arm pit, back and neck area confirms this. Old men walking around in wife-beaters confirms this. Girls showing off lot's of leg regardless of the shape confirms this. The strong urge to run to the convenient store first thing in the morning to quench my thirst with a beer confirms all this.

I can't wait till autumn!

French

Eiko says...

I've been studying French as a third language, and although I have classified 'sticking to any one activity long-term' the epitome of the word 'impossible' long ago when I was still in nappies, I have successfully stuck to French for 2 months now! Although my study habits weren't consistent by any means, 2 months is an impressive chunk of time in my books. At least it's better than giving up after experiencing your first low which occurs within the week of starting any new activity--a nasty habit of mine.

To reward myself for this amazing achievement, I decided to find myself a French teacher. Fortunately for me, I didn't have to go on any long hunting trips to find what I wanted. The ever helpful Ken kindly offered to introduce me to his French teacher which he seemed quite happy learning from, and who he thought was a good teacher. Since Ken has the tendency to be quite picky, I was surprised by the high ratings he gave this guy, and decided to give him a go.

So, last weekend, I found myself sitting in on one of their lessons to see whether I thought he would be any good teaching a complete idiot like myself or if he was handicapped to teaching only pre-intermediate to advanced students of French. Although quite nervous and anxious over the fact that I hadn't the slightest clue as to what they were yapping on about, (the entire lesson was 100% in French) half way through the lesson I decided that I would gladly pay for this guy to be my teacher.

The reasons are as follows:

He's got very beautiful eyes--definitely worth paying an hour's worth for those to be staring at me. I liked his teaching style. He had a good aura about him, and held himself well. He rated low on the Snobbish Frenchmen Scale. He smiled a lot. He seemed relaxed and confident. He gave off a healthy young, energetic vibe. He was polite.

Our first official lesson took place last Sunday, and I was quite relieved that the lesson went smoothly, despite all the questions I kept throwing at him on a 30 second basis, and my poor understanding of only 30% of the lesson. He also was quite nice about all of my, "Je detest les nombres francais!!", which put me at ease. You see, what really threw a bucket of cold water on my efforts when I was studying French on my own were the crazy French numbers!! The counting system they have in the French language seemed like nothing short of pure non-sense and drove me bonkers! He made them seem like apple pie!

Give me 6 months, everyone. I should be able to hold a good conversation in French by then. That would be the case if, of course, I don't die from the morbid heat we're all experiencing lately!!

my drug

Eiko....

We all have our drugs, our obsessions, our addictions.
For some, it's the need to read the paper in the morning. For others, it's their cup (or x amount of cups) of coffee. It may be an ice cream in the evening, or a cigarette during a lunch break. It could be an episode of a TV series they are going through, or a certain band, singer or song. It could easily be a certain 'someone'. Without a dose of these things, we tend to become edgy, easily annoyed and fidgety. Our moods are greatly affected when we find out we won't have time or can't afford to engage in our addictions, and we simply can't get our minds off of thinking about the next time we'll be getting our 'fix'.

I've got a few.

*a beer after work
*cup noodles after a night out drinking/clubbing
*cigarettes when I'm drinking
*a coffee at least once a day
*facebook (ouch!!)

and the list goes on.

My most recent drug though is shopping. I think some call this being a shopaholic. But it's not just any random shopping. When it comes to clothes, it has to be at Zara! This sucks for me, because I pass by Zara everyday on my way to work! Seeing their latest selections through the display window and NOT buying anything requires a great deal of self-control, and I don't have a lot of the stuff.

I also don't have a lot of money! I must do something about this...

Here's the latest!

A casual T.



and a loose throw over shirt