hummmmm

I've been drinking far too much recently, and it's got to stop! I waste a gross amount of
  money on bars, it's ridiculous! I could've bought a new Zara coat and boots if I had decided to spend my booze money on fashion! This so sucks. 

Then again, I've got my reasons. I just lost a dear friend. In my own words, written in my diary the day of the incident: 

" I actually thought I was fine with everything. I thought I wasn't so affected by the fact that I was being ignored by someone I considered to be a loyal friend. But reality is that it hurt. It felt like I was given a beautiful present that grew roots in my heart, became a part of me and complimented my life, and was suddenly ripped out, taken back, leaving me with a void that nothing seems to be able to fill properly. And I tried to fill it up with everything that I could think of. But what is shared between two souls can never be replaced. "

I did indeed cry that day. And I did kind of binge drink as well. History has an awful way of repeating itself, and unfortunately, this isn't the first of people I cared and loved about to up and leave me hurt and bleeding (not literally) all over the sidewalk. I wonder if I can take any more of this shit... 

BUT! Drinking is not the answer! Must be strong, or else I won't be able to fit into my favorite winter clothes! That would really only add to my depressing state. F!