white christmas

It was a white Christmas.

Christmas Eve

It's day two of my winter vacation and I started it off by lugging a very heavy, half-broaken suitcase, stuffed with a variety of presents for my siblings and, well,... bottles of alcoholic delight for me and Boris to share, to the Yoyogi JR bus station. At 10:20am, I found myself on a bus that would take me back up to Nasu and family for Christmas. It was a smooth and relaxing bus ride, thanks to the fact that there was no traffic, the weather was lovely, and no one was occupying the seat next to me. The only thing lacking was a can of beer which I was planning on picking up on a rest-station on the way. Upon arriving to the rest-stop though, I was horrified to find out that they didn't have beer or any alcohol for that matter!!  So wrong!

When i saw Boris, Yuya and Nonny waiting to pick me up at my bus stop, I was soooooooo excited and overwhelmed with happy emotions I almost didn't feel the biting cold air that hit me when the doors to the bus flung open! It's good to be back in Nasu! It's good to be at Mom and Dad's place. I missed it all--the pollution-free air, the peaceful atmosphere, and even the smell of cow!

I spent my day catching up and chilling with siblings, and, believe it or not, cooking dinner!! All that for not wanting to be in the kitchen during my stay here! Damn the camels nose!!

I cooked a chicken, eggplant pasta.

Then I spent the rest of the evening with my daaaaahling over cake, strawberries, sparklingi wine and chocolate! Best . Christmas . Eve . EVER!!

it is finished

It is finished!!

Yesterday was my last day of work for the year, and I'm feeling soooooooooooo good! Starting from today, I have around 2 weeks off from teaching, and I am at loss for words to describe how relieved and relaxed I am right now as I sit on the floor of my room in front of the heater, just being. Coldplay is playing in the background. I'm alone. It's perfect. I don't have to mind anybody. I don't have to fuss about the students I'll be teaching the next day. I don't have to plan any lessons. I'm loving the stillness of everything. I want to take this moment--this slice of perfection--and make it last forever.

Unfortunately, wishful thinking doesn't help or change anything. All good things have the tendency to come to an end. Annoying, but it's OK, especially when I've got better things to look forward to! Like Boris, for example. If there's going to be noise, if there's going to be any kind of talking and listening going on for me this holiday, it might as well be with people I love--Boris, other siblings, Mom, Dad, and a few other dear friends.

I really miss her. She's one person I feel I can really be myself around, all the good and all the bad, without the fear of being accepted or misjudged. I can be who I really am without the need I sometimes feel to impress, to be strong, to entertain, or being careful about what's coming out of my mouth. Our friendship somehow holds through everything. I can be weak with her. I can let myself be the mess that I am, and I know she'll still love me the same. I'm so glad we're spending this winter vacation together! I'm even more glad that she's going to be living with me in Tokyo next year!

hayaku!!

I'm excited! I've only got 3 more days of work before I enter my long awaited, much deserved (?) winter vacation!! Can somebody please fast-forward time to the 23rd? I want to get on with my life!! I want to see Boris! I want to be breathing in fresh air and drinking clean water! I want to eat home-made food! I want to see my siblings!

weird men. ew!

A few weeks ago while I was walking around a nearby department store during break time, an old man approached me out of the blue and handed me a piece of paper:

ちょっと後で読んでみてください。

It was weird. I gave him a very blank, quizzical stare and raised an eyebrow, stuffed the piece of paper in my pocket, turned around and walked off. I had nothing to say to him, and besides I'm quite leery of men who come up and talk to me, as they often end up to just be your average, horny, slightly pervy dude, hoping for a date or a one-night-stand. To be honest though, I initially thought this old man was different (that with the note and all). I thought he might be one of those fortune tellers who randomly receive premonitions about random people he randomly meets, and gives them prophecies that he receives for them. I was very wrong.

On my way back to my office, I pulled the piece of paper from my pocket and gave it a quick skim. It was instantly obvious to me that it wasn't a prophecy at all. What first caught my eye out of the messy, hand written note was '30-40万'. What caught my eye after that was a phone number. After connecting the dots and being hit over the head with the realization that the note I was holding in my hand was really a proposal to be this man's personal .... well, whore, and making my 'ewww-grose-face', I picked up the pace and did my best to hurry in my new, decently-heeled-boots, (awesome for making my legs look long and not-so-fat, but horrible when you need to rush it). I felt anxious and kept looking over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't being followed. What a creep!!

As soon as I reached my office, I heaved a gigantic sigh of relief and disgust and sank in my chair. I took out the piece of paper and this time gave it a decent read. A rough summary of the note would be that he wanted to 'date' me, and for every 'date' he would offer anywhere between 300-400,000 yen. 2-3 times a week would be nice. He's 61 years old (Ew!) and owns his own company. The last girl he was 'dating' had graduated from uni and was moving to a different country and he was interested in looking for another...well, date. He's in a hurry to catch an appointment, but if I could kindly leave a message at the number he had written, he would get back to me ASAP.

Wow. Seriously? Seriously??? Ran to the bathroom and stared into the mirror, raised my eyebrows, asked myself: Seriously? How many weird old men do I have to meet before I meet someone decent?! I think I'm a magnet for strange, horny, old pervs. If not that, then married, engaged, divorced!! I need a break. SERIOUSLY!

P.S

My finger '(which I had accidentally sliced while attempting to cook after a night out drinking ) is healing up. The image bellow was taken a week after the incident, and now after 2 weeks, it looks very different but not any prettier, unfortunately. Since I had decided against getting stitched up at a hospital, the cut kept opening up, and healed in such a way that it looks like a,...well,...healed open cut. It's VERY unattractive. VERY sad.

feel gross

Whew!. My diet, which has been laden with alcohol, oily izakaya food, and junk from Lawson, is taking it's toll on me and I feel sluggish and contaminated! There have been 8 drinking events since entering December, and I'm glad to finally be able to say that there are only 2 more to go before I leave for fresh and crisp Nasu to celebrate Christmas with my family.

It's definitely a festive time, and I sincerely enjoy drinking and talking with my students, but it's far from relaxing! Having to always watch what you say, making sure that you're not offending anyone, smiling, being generally happy, and listening and acting like you understand can become quite exhausting, even if all of this is done sitting down with a drink in hand. I, for one, desperately need a break! Thankfully, I've only got 4 more working days before my first day of a long vacation! Yeeessss!

It's been a good year of experiencing and learning for me, and I feel like I've made a lot of progress in so many areas of my life. Although it wasn't always easy, I can honestly say that it has been a great year. I can't wait to celebrate how great 2011 has been for me with best friend Boris! Let's rock it, hun!

Below is a picture of me and my 'crazy women' student group! 

some crazy women

Every Wednesday, from 10:15 to 12:00, I teach a lovely group of 8 ladies in their 40-60's. Each one of them is unique in their own special way, and although their personalities are so different from each other, they are all very close as if they were friends for years! 

Initially, I was quite intimidated by this group as I had no idea how to interact, much less teach older ladies. But after getting to know them through the many lessons and discussions we've had over the past few months, there's so much that I absolutely LOVE about them! i HAVE to share this with you all...

Yu:

....is your typical polite, nice 50-some year old Japanese lady.  She's got puppy-dog-eyes that have a twinkle of youth, and a very cute face with short hair that frames it perfectly. She's petite but healthy looking, and if I had to choose a word to describe her it would be 'adorable'!


 What is special about Yu is that she has a thing for hot guys with muscles. And when I say 'muscles', I'm not talking about your everyday toned, well-built-Joe! I'm talking about no-neck, larger-than-life, bulging, Vin-Diesel-muscles!! In fact, she's in love with the dude! She's already met him twice during his premiers to Japan, and she said she almost fainted with pure, undiluted delight! 

Her hobbies: watching movies, obsessing and fantasizing about the hot men and their muscular bodies, and chasing celebrities down when they visit Japan (well, only if they're hot actors, anyway...) Just this Wednesday, she excitedly announced that she went to see Tom Cruise on her day off at his premier! She really glows when she talks about movies and celebrities! 
Not only does she know the actors' names, but she's quite versed in their general background, filmography, and the other basics like age, who they're married to, children, so on and so forth. Coming from a typical, Japanese, 50-some housewife, it's quite... well... different! And I love it!

Me: What would you say if you had 5 minutes with Vin Diesel?
Yu: O.M.G!! My heart would beat out of my chest!! I would tell him 'I love you!'
Me: Yeah, but you have 5 minutes. I love you would only take up 3 seconds to say. 
Yu: I'll say it over and over again! 
Me: Is your husband OK with your ... um (cough)... hobbies??

K.K

This is a beginner's class, but K.K is quite fluent in her English. More than anything, her pronunciation surprises me! She doesn't seem to struggle with her 'R' and 'L' sounds, and apparently, she was quite the hottie when she was younger. Even now in her late 50's or 60's, you can tell that she must have  been a real knock-out back in the day. She takes good care of herself, is not stuck up, very friendly, talkative, and outgoing. She can even be quite girlie at times, commenting on the other ladies' romantic life and husbands in a good-natured way, and is inclusive in her actions and speech. Love her.


What is special about K.K. is definitely the amount of alcohol she can chug down!  We had all gone to an izakaya once during the summer, and I do believe she drank at least 10 drinks, and seemed to be doing just fine! We go for lunch every now and then and always has either wine or beer with her food. She's also a smoker, and when asked by one of the other students during a lesson centered around health if she thought of changing her diet and unhealthy habits, she shrugged her shoulders and frowned, 'I don't have to because I really don't care! At this age it's not worth fussing about.'

Haru

...is very pretty, has what anybody would call doe-eyes, takes good care of herself, has nice hair, perfect nails, very fashion conscious, and oh-so-young, despite really being in her mid-50's.

What is special about Haru is that she's just absolutely wild!! Really, really wild! I'm talking about partying till 4:00 am, drinking with friends, singing in Karaoke, dancing, going to Ginza for a night out with girl-friends, late nights over wine and singing along with YouTube, going to the cinema with her 26 year old son (who I also happen to teach as well), flying around the world, playing tennis, sporting bikinis in the summer, attending three English lessons and two yoga lessons a week, wears high-heels, comments on how men look, takes purikuras, goes bowling, and is queen of organizing anything to do with fun and partying! 

One time, we were at a student's English speaking/drinking event, and everyone was handed a small piece of paper to write a short question, which would then be tossed in a bucket, and from where people will randomly draw from to get conversations going. Her question? 'What was your first kiss like?'

Koko

...is very short and small. She has pitch black, emo-style hair that shags into her face. (You know, where the hair is shading one eye and all?) She's always wearing black and grayish tones. Her shirts often have writings on it--definitely punk. She wears leather and hoodies. She has a pretty face. I'm guessing she's in her early 50'sor late 40's. She's a smoker.


What's special about Koko is her insane schedule and hobbies. Let's start with hobbies. She LOVES dancing hip-hop and attends a hip-hop dance class 5 times a week. She also LOVES Korean drama! I think she spends at least 3 hours a day watching 'em! Her love for Korean dramas has lead her to study Korean, which means she is presently studying two languages at the same time. She also works 5 times a week in the kitchen of some restaurant! How she manages to follow such a crazy schedule every effing day baffles me! How on earth can one tiny person fit all of the above, not to mention the housework in a week? I couldn't do it.


The others are funny too!!
One other lady shared the story of how she had stripped down to her bra and panties and dived into a pool (with her entire family as the onlookers) after realizing that the resort they were all staying at had an amazing indoor pool and that she hadn't packed a bathing suit! You would never guess that she were the type to do such a thing if you just saw her!
Another lady had the time of her life attending a SMAP concert. Another shared us her concerns about her hair... it's just never glossy enough!!! 




My bounenkai with this happy group is coming up soon! It's going to be exciting!

hair

I can be a bit impulsive at times.
I felt a great need to for a change this morning, and decided to settle with an inexpensive, quick-and-snappy one. Grabbed a pair of kitchen scissors and snipped twice. Voila! I cut myself some bangs, and I got what I wanted: change!

drunk cooking is stupid

Woke up with a throbbing head ache (or hangover, choose your pick), and also a throbbing, dull-and-sharp-at-the-same-time-pain in my finger!! Figuring out why my head was in pain was no rocket science--the alcohol staining my breath helped. But why my finger was in so much pain was a mystery to me. I squinted my eyes and tried to focus on my left index finger and made out a very bloody excuse for a band-aide wrapped tightly around the top of my finger. Hm. Ok, a cut. Interesting.

But upon pulling myself out of bed and looking around my room, I noticed that my bed sheets were also smeared with blood in messy splotches here and there. The walls of my room, the door, carpet, door handle, clothes, and bag had splotches of blood as well. Something wasn't quite right. I glanced at my aching finger and raised a curious eyebrow. The blood all over my room had to come from somewhere, and although I obviously had a cut on my finger, it seemed to be rather small to have bled all that...well, blood!

After giving myself some time to remember the previous night and also many glasses of water, little bits and pieces of what had happened began to return to me. I had started my Friday night with the first drink of the week with a colleague, and I remember thinking how delicious it was! After coming home, I drank a little in the cafe with the Chiba family, and then helped Ken out with the wine he had received from one of his many fans. I don't remember feeling especially drunk, but i reckon I must have been because a. I only had a coffee and a sandwich that day and b. it was my first drink in 6 solid days!

I must have been feeling hungry, because I distinctly remember trying to peel and mince some garlic up for a soup of some kind, and naturally, I'm guessing that's when I cut my finger.

I do remember panicking. I remember blood drip, drip, dripping from the cut. I remember not feeling any pain too, which kind of freaked me out because there was so much blood everywhere! I'm talking about puddles on the floor, smudges on the table, on the cutting board, knife, counter, sink, hallway, ... everywhere!

According to Ken, I was quite drunk and very annoying. (To be fair, i was drunk!!) The kind soul managed to overcome the annoyance he felt at the moment and patched my finger up with a band-aid and cleaned up the aftermath, except the mess in my room. That would explain my bloody bedsheets and walls.


Moral of the evening I drank too much:

Cooking when you're drunk is a very stupid idea.

P.S.

It's been a few days, and my cut keeps reopening. I think I may need stitches. Although, I am positive I won't go to get stitched up whether I need to or not.

bounenkai 1

First bounenkai out of the way! It was a big, lively one of 38 members and was held at an izakaya which we had booked for the party a month or so in advance. The fun  began at 8:00 after our English discussion, and went straight on through the night, past last-train time, and into the next morning. For the party, The bounenkai's official cut-off time was 10:00, but seriously, in who's twisted world is two hours of drinking and partying enough? A lot of the members stayed until much later, reluctantly excusing themselves from the party  to catch their last train. I briefly considered catching my last train as well, but the fun was on, I was with good company, it was my first bounenkai of the year, and I HATE rushing for my last train (Really, the excuses were endless). So I ended up sticking around till the first train with a handful of members who, like me, didn't want the partying to end with midnight. We wrapped things up with an hour and a half of surprisingly energetic singing at karaoke! And by then, believe me, I was exhausted! That's 10 hours of partying straight with no breaks in between! No more, thanks! I had quite enough!

And oh, damn! I definitely drank too much. It's Japanese etiquette to pour each other's alcohol, and also to make sure that each other's glasses are full or that they have enough to drink. The student sitting directly in front of me was a very polite man, and made sure that my cup was always full. This was very nice of him, but it also made it difficult for me to estimate exactly how much I was drinking and at what rate. But I do remember exactly what I was getting drunk on: lot's of beer, umeshu nihonshu, and sake! It was the perfect recipe for a smashing hangover! Thankfully, I had my head screwed on properly that night, and I was very conscious of the need to keep my drinking at a moderate pace at a year-end party with students. I also didn't do or say anything embarassing, and was able to keep a good conversation up with the members that were sitting at the same table as me, despite feeling the affects of alcohol quite strongly. I'm very proud of myself! Well done! Oh, and love the fact that my face doesn't change color when I drink! Yay!

But despite drinking too much, and the long night, and feeling exhausted the next day with a horrible hangover, I had so much fun and don't regret a thing! Looking forward to the next one, on the 13th!

seriously...

I'm at a cozy Starbucks, enjoying my lunch break with a cup of hot coffee, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, and a bit of blogging on the side.


It's a perfect December day: the piercing cold, heavy clouds, gray sky, and Christmas decorations and music everywhere! To be honest, I hate the cold. My body doesn't seem to know how to cope with crazy-low temperatures and has the tendency to shut down a bit during the winter. I've been trying to figure all this out for the many years I have had to suffer through the cold seasons, and I think I've finally figured out what's going on! My body is trying to go into hibernation, just like any other sensible mamel should! But since it's December, one of the bussiest months of the year, hibernation isn't anywhere close to being even an option to cope with cold. So I don't hibernate and struggle on. My body freaks out because it's not hibernating! My body starts shutting down certain functions as a result, and I start feeling and looking awful! I'm brilliant!!


Every year when winter rolls around, my neck and shoulders cramp up, my back starts hurting, my toes change from healthy pink to a dangerous grey-purple, my usually lucious lips crack and consequently are a bloody mess, the time that it takes to tumble out of bed is anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours, and if you were to only look at my hands, you would think that they belonged to someone 30 years older! But despite all these symptoms of badness, if it weren't cold during December, something wouldn't seem right. To me, winter time is what it is because getting up in the morning and crawling out of bed is so difficult. Because I can see my breath. Because I get to wear my favorite winter boots. Because I have to sleep under layers of blankets to keep warm. Because when I come back from the bathroom around midnight, my bed is no longer warm, and finding sleep after that takes forever. Without these things, winter wouldn't be winter! It would be something entirely else, and I don't think I'll like it very much.


Speaking of winter, it's almost Christmas. Christmas is all about family, love and  the food!! Speaking of the food, I can't believe I'll be cooking Christmas dinner this year after I repeatedly let the family know that Boris and I would take little to no part in cooking for everybody this year! We were so determined not to, you should have heard us!


Over the phone with Boris:


Boris: Eiko, let's not cook Christmas dinner this year.


Me: Yeah, forget it! I'm not gunna be anywhere near that kitchen! Ugh! HATE my hair and clothes smelling like fried chicken! (HUGE pet-peeve) Hate my fingers smelling like garlic days after! Hate my finger nails being fucked up by my sloppy knife skills!


Boris: Let's just relax and let everybody else fuss and take care of stuff we do every year! I mean, I'll have work at Ikegami that day! I don't want to come back and cook dinner! I just want to spend time with you and relax! (Awww!) It's their turn anyway.


Me: Totally. I can't enjoy anything laid out on the table after slaving away in the kitchen, cutting, tasting, preparing, marinating and cooking all of it! I smell and look bad after a day in the kitchen, and I feel full. Can't even enjoy drinking when I'm like that! Dangerous sign! No ways, man! I'm not gunna cook! But who's gunna cook if we aren't?


Boris: Eiko, don't worry about that! If we won't, somebody will HAVE to! We're a smart family AND we're a big family. Somebody will figure something out eventually. I'd rather a whatever dinner, or even ordering pizza or eating out than cooking! Seriouslly, Eiko. This year, we're gunna be the ones enjoying the dinner while everybody else runs around fixing things up. I'm NOT.GOING.TO.COOK!!


Me: True. Why has it always been us anyway when there are so many of us?


Boris: I know, right? So many able-bodied Matsuokas! There's Yoko, there's Tom, there's the sisters-in-law minus, I guess, the pregnant one, there's Mom (Boris was very desperate), and there's well, ...Dad! (Desperate!) And Ai-chan and Akari-chan will whip up the deserts! Voilla!! Christmas dinner is served! Oh, and there's Yasu and Yuya! Oh, and there's Sam! Wow!


Me: OK, Boris, let's do this! We're going to retire! (for this year, anyway)


Boris: This is so awesome! We need to let the family know we've retired!


Me: OK! Let's post this on FB!


Boris: Seriously!


Me: I know, seriously!


Boris: OK, good.




And after all that and then some, where we are, planning and fussing over Christmas dinner. I'm going to need a box or two of fags!

golden silence

I hurriedly stomped my way through the painful cold to the station to catch my train home. It had been a long day of teaching and all I could think of was hot food, and relaxing in my warm room with David Cook's sexy voice in the back ground, helping me erase all thoughts of work, negativity and annoyances from my mind.

My work is by no means difficult or physically taxing. I enjoy teaching, and my working environment is generally relaxed and casual. My students are very nice, and the colleagues are too, usually. But somehow, I find myself feeling quite drained by the end of each week. Perhaps it's the constant interaction with people that my job requires of me. It could also be the 'teacher-face' that I have to keep up all day that gets to be so exhausting. (You know, when you have to keep smiling, agreeing, nodding, being polite, being gentle, laughing, commenting, instructing, complimenting, when that's the exact opposite of what you really feel at the moment.) But whatever it is, I just want to be alone when I'm not working. I don't want to have to open my mouth unless I want to. I don't want to be polite unless I feel like it. I don't want to have any thoughts of keeping up a conversation unless I want to be conversing in the first place. I don't want to have to be thinking of what the right thing to say might be. I want to be silent. I want to be alone. I want to be with company that understands this, and that can even appreciate a healthy silent streak.

I love chatting and sharing thoughts and opinions with people. I love getting to know people better and of course, I want to be closer to my friends. But there's a time for everything, and after I come back from work is just not the time for it.

I'm counting the days till my winter vacation. I want to be with my family!!