white christmas

It was a white Christmas.

Christmas Eve

It's day two of my winter vacation and I started it off by lugging a very heavy, half-broaken suitcase, stuffed with a variety of presents for my siblings and, well,... bottles of alcoholic delight for me and Boris to share, to the Yoyogi JR bus station. At 10:20am, I found myself on a bus that would take me back up to Nasu and family for Christmas. It was a smooth and relaxing bus ride, thanks to the fact that there was no traffic, the weather was lovely, and no one was occupying the seat next to me. The only thing lacking was a can of beer which I was planning on picking up on a rest-station on the way. Upon arriving to the rest-stop though, I was horrified to find out that they didn't have beer or any alcohol for that matter!!  So wrong!

When i saw Boris, Yuya and Nonny waiting to pick me up at my bus stop, I was soooooooo excited and overwhelmed with happy emotions I almost didn't feel the biting cold air that hit me when the doors to the bus flung open! It's good to be back in Nasu! It's good to be at Mom and Dad's place. I missed it all--the pollution-free air, the peaceful atmosphere, and even the smell of cow!

I spent my day catching up and chilling with siblings, and, believe it or not, cooking dinner!! All that for not wanting to be in the kitchen during my stay here! Damn the camels nose!!

I cooked a chicken, eggplant pasta.

Then I spent the rest of the evening with my daaaaahling over cake, strawberries, sparklingi wine and chocolate! Best . Christmas . Eve . EVER!!

it is finished

It is finished!!

Yesterday was my last day of work for the year, and I'm feeling soooooooooooo good! Starting from today, I have around 2 weeks off from teaching, and I am at loss for words to describe how relieved and relaxed I am right now as I sit on the floor of my room in front of the heater, just being. Coldplay is playing in the background. I'm alone. It's perfect. I don't have to mind anybody. I don't have to fuss about the students I'll be teaching the next day. I don't have to plan any lessons. I'm loving the stillness of everything. I want to take this moment--this slice of perfection--and make it last forever.

Unfortunately, wishful thinking doesn't help or change anything. All good things have the tendency to come to an end. Annoying, but it's OK, especially when I've got better things to look forward to! Like Boris, for example. If there's going to be noise, if there's going to be any kind of talking and listening going on for me this holiday, it might as well be with people I love--Boris, other siblings, Mom, Dad, and a few other dear friends.

I really miss her. She's one person I feel I can really be myself around, all the good and all the bad, without the fear of being accepted or misjudged. I can be who I really am without the need I sometimes feel to impress, to be strong, to entertain, or being careful about what's coming out of my mouth. Our friendship somehow holds through everything. I can be weak with her. I can let myself be the mess that I am, and I know she'll still love me the same. I'm so glad we're spending this winter vacation together! I'm even more glad that she's going to be living with me in Tokyo next year!

hayaku!!

I'm excited! I've only got 3 more days of work before I enter my long awaited, much deserved (?) winter vacation!! Can somebody please fast-forward time to the 23rd? I want to get on with my life!! I want to see Boris! I want to be breathing in fresh air and drinking clean water! I want to eat home-made food! I want to see my siblings!

weird men. ew!

A few weeks ago while I was walking around a nearby department store during break time, an old man approached me out of the blue and handed me a piece of paper:

ちょっと後で読んでみてください。

It was weird. I gave him a very blank, quizzical stare and raised an eyebrow, stuffed the piece of paper in my pocket, turned around and walked off. I had nothing to say to him, and besides I'm quite leery of men who come up and talk to me, as they often end up to just be your average, horny, slightly pervy dude, hoping for a date or a one-night-stand. To be honest though, I initially thought this old man was different (that with the note and all). I thought he might be one of those fortune tellers who randomly receive premonitions about random people he randomly meets, and gives them prophecies that he receives for them. I was very wrong.

On my way back to my office, I pulled the piece of paper from my pocket and gave it a quick skim. It was instantly obvious to me that it wasn't a prophecy at all. What first caught my eye out of the messy, hand written note was '30-40万'. What caught my eye after that was a phone number. After connecting the dots and being hit over the head with the realization that the note I was holding in my hand was really a proposal to be this man's personal .... well, whore, and making my 'ewww-grose-face', I picked up the pace and did my best to hurry in my new, decently-heeled-boots, (awesome for making my legs look long and not-so-fat, but horrible when you need to rush it). I felt anxious and kept looking over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't being followed. What a creep!!

As soon as I reached my office, I heaved a gigantic sigh of relief and disgust and sank in my chair. I took out the piece of paper and this time gave it a decent read. A rough summary of the note would be that he wanted to 'date' me, and for every 'date' he would offer anywhere between 300-400,000 yen. 2-3 times a week would be nice. He's 61 years old (Ew!) and owns his own company. The last girl he was 'dating' had graduated from uni and was moving to a different country and he was interested in looking for another...well, date. He's in a hurry to catch an appointment, but if I could kindly leave a message at the number he had written, he would get back to me ASAP.

Wow. Seriously? Seriously??? Ran to the bathroom and stared into the mirror, raised my eyebrows, asked myself: Seriously? How many weird old men do I have to meet before I meet someone decent?! I think I'm a magnet for strange, horny, old pervs. If not that, then married, engaged, divorced!! I need a break. SERIOUSLY!

P.S

My finger '(which I had accidentally sliced while attempting to cook after a night out drinking ) is healing up. The image bellow was taken a week after the incident, and now after 2 weeks, it looks very different but not any prettier, unfortunately. Since I had decided against getting stitched up at a hospital, the cut kept opening up, and healed in such a way that it looks like a,...well,...healed open cut. It's VERY unattractive. VERY sad.

feel gross

Whew!. My diet, which has been laden with alcohol, oily izakaya food, and junk from Lawson, is taking it's toll on me and I feel sluggish and contaminated! There have been 8 drinking events since entering December, and I'm glad to finally be able to say that there are only 2 more to go before I leave for fresh and crisp Nasu to celebrate Christmas with my family.

It's definitely a festive time, and I sincerely enjoy drinking and talking with my students, but it's far from relaxing! Having to always watch what you say, making sure that you're not offending anyone, smiling, being generally happy, and listening and acting like you understand can become quite exhausting, even if all of this is done sitting down with a drink in hand. I, for one, desperately need a break! Thankfully, I've only got 4 more working days before my first day of a long vacation! Yeeessss!

It's been a good year of experiencing and learning for me, and I feel like I've made a lot of progress in so many areas of my life. Although it wasn't always easy, I can honestly say that it has been a great year. I can't wait to celebrate how great 2011 has been for me with best friend Boris! Let's rock it, hun!

Below is a picture of me and my 'crazy women' student group! 

some crazy women

Every Wednesday, from 10:15 to 12:00, I teach a lovely group of 8 ladies in their 40-60's. Each one of them is unique in their own special way, and although their personalities are so different from each other, they are all very close as if they were friends for years! 

Initially, I was quite intimidated by this group as I had no idea how to interact, much less teach older ladies. But after getting to know them through the many lessons and discussions we've had over the past few months, there's so much that I absolutely LOVE about them! i HAVE to share this with you all...

Yu:

....is your typical polite, nice 50-some year old Japanese lady.  She's got puppy-dog-eyes that have a twinkle of youth, and a very cute face with short hair that frames it perfectly. She's petite but healthy looking, and if I had to choose a word to describe her it would be 'adorable'!


 What is special about Yu is that she has a thing for hot guys with muscles. And when I say 'muscles', I'm not talking about your everyday toned, well-built-Joe! I'm talking about no-neck, larger-than-life, bulging, Vin-Diesel-muscles!! In fact, she's in love with the dude! She's already met him twice during his premiers to Japan, and she said she almost fainted with pure, undiluted delight! 

Her hobbies: watching movies, obsessing and fantasizing about the hot men and their muscular bodies, and chasing celebrities down when they visit Japan (well, only if they're hot actors, anyway...) Just this Wednesday, she excitedly announced that she went to see Tom Cruise on her day off at his premier! She really glows when she talks about movies and celebrities! 
Not only does she know the actors' names, but she's quite versed in their general background, filmography, and the other basics like age, who they're married to, children, so on and so forth. Coming from a typical, Japanese, 50-some housewife, it's quite... well... different! And I love it!

Me: What would you say if you had 5 minutes with Vin Diesel?
Yu: O.M.G!! My heart would beat out of my chest!! I would tell him 'I love you!'
Me: Yeah, but you have 5 minutes. I love you would only take up 3 seconds to say. 
Yu: I'll say it over and over again! 
Me: Is your husband OK with your ... um (cough)... hobbies??

K.K

This is a beginner's class, but K.K is quite fluent in her English. More than anything, her pronunciation surprises me! She doesn't seem to struggle with her 'R' and 'L' sounds, and apparently, she was quite the hottie when she was younger. Even now in her late 50's or 60's, you can tell that she must have  been a real knock-out back in the day. She takes good care of herself, is not stuck up, very friendly, talkative, and outgoing. She can even be quite girlie at times, commenting on the other ladies' romantic life and husbands in a good-natured way, and is inclusive in her actions and speech. Love her.


What is special about K.K. is definitely the amount of alcohol she can chug down!  We had all gone to an izakaya once during the summer, and I do believe she drank at least 10 drinks, and seemed to be doing just fine! We go for lunch every now and then and always has either wine or beer with her food. She's also a smoker, and when asked by one of the other students during a lesson centered around health if she thought of changing her diet and unhealthy habits, she shrugged her shoulders and frowned, 'I don't have to because I really don't care! At this age it's not worth fussing about.'

Haru

...is very pretty, has what anybody would call doe-eyes, takes good care of herself, has nice hair, perfect nails, very fashion conscious, and oh-so-young, despite really being in her mid-50's.

What is special about Haru is that she's just absolutely wild!! Really, really wild! I'm talking about partying till 4:00 am, drinking with friends, singing in Karaoke, dancing, going to Ginza for a night out with girl-friends, late nights over wine and singing along with YouTube, going to the cinema with her 26 year old son (who I also happen to teach as well), flying around the world, playing tennis, sporting bikinis in the summer, attending three English lessons and two yoga lessons a week, wears high-heels, comments on how men look, takes purikuras, goes bowling, and is queen of organizing anything to do with fun and partying! 

One time, we were at a student's English speaking/drinking event, and everyone was handed a small piece of paper to write a short question, which would then be tossed in a bucket, and from where people will randomly draw from to get conversations going. Her question? 'What was your first kiss like?'

Koko

...is very short and small. She has pitch black, emo-style hair that shags into her face. (You know, where the hair is shading one eye and all?) She's always wearing black and grayish tones. Her shirts often have writings on it--definitely punk. She wears leather and hoodies. She has a pretty face. I'm guessing she's in her early 50'sor late 40's. She's a smoker.


What's special about Koko is her insane schedule and hobbies. Let's start with hobbies. She LOVES dancing hip-hop and attends a hip-hop dance class 5 times a week. She also LOVES Korean drama! I think she spends at least 3 hours a day watching 'em! Her love for Korean dramas has lead her to study Korean, which means she is presently studying two languages at the same time. She also works 5 times a week in the kitchen of some restaurant! How she manages to follow such a crazy schedule every effing day baffles me! How on earth can one tiny person fit all of the above, not to mention the housework in a week? I couldn't do it.


The others are funny too!!
One other lady shared the story of how she had stripped down to her bra and panties and dived into a pool (with her entire family as the onlookers) after realizing that the resort they were all staying at had an amazing indoor pool and that she hadn't packed a bathing suit! You would never guess that she were the type to do such a thing if you just saw her!
Another lady had the time of her life attending a SMAP concert. Another shared us her concerns about her hair... it's just never glossy enough!!! 




My bounenkai with this happy group is coming up soon! It's going to be exciting!

hair

I can be a bit impulsive at times.
I felt a great need to for a change this morning, and decided to settle with an inexpensive, quick-and-snappy one. Grabbed a pair of kitchen scissors and snipped twice. Voila! I cut myself some bangs, and I got what I wanted: change!

drunk cooking is stupid

Woke up with a throbbing head ache (or hangover, choose your pick), and also a throbbing, dull-and-sharp-at-the-same-time-pain in my finger!! Figuring out why my head was in pain was no rocket science--the alcohol staining my breath helped. But why my finger was in so much pain was a mystery to me. I squinted my eyes and tried to focus on my left index finger and made out a very bloody excuse for a band-aide wrapped tightly around the top of my finger. Hm. Ok, a cut. Interesting.

But upon pulling myself out of bed and looking around my room, I noticed that my bed sheets were also smeared with blood in messy splotches here and there. The walls of my room, the door, carpet, door handle, clothes, and bag had splotches of blood as well. Something wasn't quite right. I glanced at my aching finger and raised a curious eyebrow. The blood all over my room had to come from somewhere, and although I obviously had a cut on my finger, it seemed to be rather small to have bled all that...well, blood!

After giving myself some time to remember the previous night and also many glasses of water, little bits and pieces of what had happened began to return to me. I had started my Friday night with the first drink of the week with a colleague, and I remember thinking how delicious it was! After coming home, I drank a little in the cafe with the Chiba family, and then helped Ken out with the wine he had received from one of his many fans. I don't remember feeling especially drunk, but i reckon I must have been because a. I only had a coffee and a sandwich that day and b. it was my first drink in 6 solid days!

I must have been feeling hungry, because I distinctly remember trying to peel and mince some garlic up for a soup of some kind, and naturally, I'm guessing that's when I cut my finger.

I do remember panicking. I remember blood drip, drip, dripping from the cut. I remember not feeling any pain too, which kind of freaked me out because there was so much blood everywhere! I'm talking about puddles on the floor, smudges on the table, on the cutting board, knife, counter, sink, hallway, ... everywhere!

According to Ken, I was quite drunk and very annoying. (To be fair, i was drunk!!) The kind soul managed to overcome the annoyance he felt at the moment and patched my finger up with a band-aid and cleaned up the aftermath, except the mess in my room. That would explain my bloody bedsheets and walls.


Moral of the evening I drank too much:

Cooking when you're drunk is a very stupid idea.

P.S.

It's been a few days, and my cut keeps reopening. I think I may need stitches. Although, I am positive I won't go to get stitched up whether I need to or not.

bounenkai 1

First bounenkai out of the way! It was a big, lively one of 38 members and was held at an izakaya which we had booked for the party a month or so in advance. The fun  began at 8:00 after our English discussion, and went straight on through the night, past last-train time, and into the next morning. For the party, The bounenkai's official cut-off time was 10:00, but seriously, in who's twisted world is two hours of drinking and partying enough? A lot of the members stayed until much later, reluctantly excusing themselves from the party  to catch their last train. I briefly considered catching my last train as well, but the fun was on, I was with good company, it was my first bounenkai of the year, and I HATE rushing for my last train (Really, the excuses were endless). So I ended up sticking around till the first train with a handful of members who, like me, didn't want the partying to end with midnight. We wrapped things up with an hour and a half of surprisingly energetic singing at karaoke! And by then, believe me, I was exhausted! That's 10 hours of partying straight with no breaks in between! No more, thanks! I had quite enough!

And oh, damn! I definitely drank too much. It's Japanese etiquette to pour each other's alcohol, and also to make sure that each other's glasses are full or that they have enough to drink. The student sitting directly in front of me was a very polite man, and made sure that my cup was always full. This was very nice of him, but it also made it difficult for me to estimate exactly how much I was drinking and at what rate. But I do remember exactly what I was getting drunk on: lot's of beer, umeshu nihonshu, and sake! It was the perfect recipe for a smashing hangover! Thankfully, I had my head screwed on properly that night, and I was very conscious of the need to keep my drinking at a moderate pace at a year-end party with students. I also didn't do or say anything embarassing, and was able to keep a good conversation up with the members that were sitting at the same table as me, despite feeling the affects of alcohol quite strongly. I'm very proud of myself! Well done! Oh, and love the fact that my face doesn't change color when I drink! Yay!

But despite drinking too much, and the long night, and feeling exhausted the next day with a horrible hangover, I had so much fun and don't regret a thing! Looking forward to the next one, on the 13th!

seriously...

I'm at a cozy Starbucks, enjoying my lunch break with a cup of hot coffee, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, and a bit of blogging on the side.


It's a perfect December day: the piercing cold, heavy clouds, gray sky, and Christmas decorations and music everywhere! To be honest, I hate the cold. My body doesn't seem to know how to cope with crazy-low temperatures and has the tendency to shut down a bit during the winter. I've been trying to figure all this out for the many years I have had to suffer through the cold seasons, and I think I've finally figured out what's going on! My body is trying to go into hibernation, just like any other sensible mamel should! But since it's December, one of the bussiest months of the year, hibernation isn't anywhere close to being even an option to cope with cold. So I don't hibernate and struggle on. My body freaks out because it's not hibernating! My body starts shutting down certain functions as a result, and I start feeling and looking awful! I'm brilliant!!


Every year when winter rolls around, my neck and shoulders cramp up, my back starts hurting, my toes change from healthy pink to a dangerous grey-purple, my usually lucious lips crack and consequently are a bloody mess, the time that it takes to tumble out of bed is anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours, and if you were to only look at my hands, you would think that they belonged to someone 30 years older! But despite all these symptoms of badness, if it weren't cold during December, something wouldn't seem right. To me, winter time is what it is because getting up in the morning and crawling out of bed is so difficult. Because I can see my breath. Because I get to wear my favorite winter boots. Because I have to sleep under layers of blankets to keep warm. Because when I come back from the bathroom around midnight, my bed is no longer warm, and finding sleep after that takes forever. Without these things, winter wouldn't be winter! It would be something entirely else, and I don't think I'll like it very much.


Speaking of winter, it's almost Christmas. Christmas is all about family, love and  the food!! Speaking of the food, I can't believe I'll be cooking Christmas dinner this year after I repeatedly let the family know that Boris and I would take little to no part in cooking for everybody this year! We were so determined not to, you should have heard us!


Over the phone with Boris:


Boris: Eiko, let's not cook Christmas dinner this year.


Me: Yeah, forget it! I'm not gunna be anywhere near that kitchen! Ugh! HATE my hair and clothes smelling like fried chicken! (HUGE pet-peeve) Hate my fingers smelling like garlic days after! Hate my finger nails being fucked up by my sloppy knife skills!


Boris: Let's just relax and let everybody else fuss and take care of stuff we do every year! I mean, I'll have work at Ikegami that day! I don't want to come back and cook dinner! I just want to spend time with you and relax! (Awww!) It's their turn anyway.


Me: Totally. I can't enjoy anything laid out on the table after slaving away in the kitchen, cutting, tasting, preparing, marinating and cooking all of it! I smell and look bad after a day in the kitchen, and I feel full. Can't even enjoy drinking when I'm like that! Dangerous sign! No ways, man! I'm not gunna cook! But who's gunna cook if we aren't?


Boris: Eiko, don't worry about that! If we won't, somebody will HAVE to! We're a smart family AND we're a big family. Somebody will figure something out eventually. I'd rather a whatever dinner, or even ordering pizza or eating out than cooking! Seriouslly, Eiko. This year, we're gunna be the ones enjoying the dinner while everybody else runs around fixing things up. I'm NOT.GOING.TO.COOK!!


Me: True. Why has it always been us anyway when there are so many of us?


Boris: I know, right? So many able-bodied Matsuokas! There's Yoko, there's Tom, there's the sisters-in-law minus, I guess, the pregnant one, there's Mom (Boris was very desperate), and there's well, ...Dad! (Desperate!) And Ai-chan and Akari-chan will whip up the deserts! Voilla!! Christmas dinner is served! Oh, and there's Yasu and Yuya! Oh, and there's Sam! Wow!


Me: OK, Boris, let's do this! We're going to retire! (for this year, anyway)


Boris: This is so awesome! We need to let the family know we've retired!


Me: OK! Let's post this on FB!


Boris: Seriously!


Me: I know, seriously!


Boris: OK, good.




And after all that and then some, where we are, planning and fussing over Christmas dinner. I'm going to need a box or two of fags!

golden silence

I hurriedly stomped my way through the painful cold to the station to catch my train home. It had been a long day of teaching and all I could think of was hot food, and relaxing in my warm room with David Cook's sexy voice in the back ground, helping me erase all thoughts of work, negativity and annoyances from my mind.

My work is by no means difficult or physically taxing. I enjoy teaching, and my working environment is generally relaxed and casual. My students are very nice, and the colleagues are too, usually. But somehow, I find myself feeling quite drained by the end of each week. Perhaps it's the constant interaction with people that my job requires of me. It could also be the 'teacher-face' that I have to keep up all day that gets to be so exhausting. (You know, when you have to keep smiling, agreeing, nodding, being polite, being gentle, laughing, commenting, instructing, complimenting, when that's the exact opposite of what you really feel at the moment.) But whatever it is, I just want to be alone when I'm not working. I don't want to have to open my mouth unless I want to. I don't want to be polite unless I feel like it. I don't want to have any thoughts of keeping up a conversation unless I want to be conversing in the first place. I don't want to have to be thinking of what the right thing to say might be. I want to be silent. I want to be alone. I want to be with company that understands this, and that can even appreciate a healthy silent streak.

I love chatting and sharing thoughts and opinions with people. I love getting to know people better and of course, I want to be closer to my friends. But there's a time for everything, and after I come back from work is just not the time for it.

I'm counting the days till my winter vacation. I want to be with my family!!

no effin' ways

My boss and I were waiting at a cross way for the lights to change, when the conversation that changed my whole attitude towards the Holiday season happened!

He began out of the blue, "You know, I attended 17 'bounenkais' last year?"

Out loud, I replied with a, "Wow, impressive!"

In my mind,
Wow, Sir! I used to wonder where you got that fine beer belly of yours, but not anymore!

Our conversation consisted of the Holiday season, year end parties, and about some of our mutual students, but what he had said about his bounenkais really got me thinking. I had initially found the connection between his beer belly and the 17 bounekais funny, but after giving it more thought, I remembered that I had 5 year-end parties already marked in my schedule book, and being that it's not even December, I wouldn't be surprised if more were on the horizon! Somehow, the connection between my belly and those year end parties weren't as humorous. In fact, the thought depressed me.

Year-end parties are unavoidable. And even if I could avoid them, I wouldn't want to! For me, they are what make the holiday season quite exciting! The drinks and food are usually free for me as the English Instructor, so obviously that's an attractive, great factor. I also enjoy hanging out with my students/colleagues outside of the classroom/office setting, Everybody is generally more relaxed and 'themselves'. And it's no secret that I genuinely enjoy drinking! Unfortunately, the reality is that these bounekais are exactly what they are because of all the drinking, eating, late-nights, second-hand-smoke (or in my case, first-hand smoke) and the rest of the unhealthy package! In Japan, December is just as much 'bounenkai-time' as it is 'Christmas-time'. Put them both together (oh, and don't forget New Years and vacation) and you've got the perfect recipe for 'get-super-fat'! It really is depressing!

For me, skipping a bounenkai to keep my waist line in check is not an option. But neither is not fitting into my favorite winter outfits, or purging. I felt quite hopeless after mulling this all over in my mind, but I did come to a conclusion and a definite decision. I simply would NOT allow myself to gain weight with the rest of the nation! Ugh! No ways!! The big, unanswered questions is 'how?' How I'm going to manage maintaining a healthy weight during the weeks of partying and celebrating is still a little bit hazy. But I am DETERMINED!

Below are some steps I'm taking right now to avoid the year end weight gain.

*I ONLY drink on the weekends, or at parties.
*I drink loads of water everyday to flush out the crap I've fed my body at the last party.
*I work out frequently and passionately.
*I balance out my enormous calorie intake throughout the following week of the party.
*I make a conscious effort to keep track of my daily calorie intake, and what these calories consist of.

Yep.

And seriously, Sir? seven-effing-bounenkais? Seriously?

very happy

Eiko says...

Let's add 'a free pass for either Disney Sea or Land' to the list of 'perks', shall we not? Damn, my students love me! And the love is mutual, of course. Can't help loving someone that doesn't know when to stop treating you.

Naturally, I was in a very festive mood after receiving the gift from one of my students, so I headed off to Zara to compliment the moment with a bit of shopping for my winter wardrobe! I bought a black coat that I had my eyes on ever since it first graced one of the Zara mannequins a month ago, and a simple red shirt that has a wonderful winter touch to it. I'm all set and ready for the weekend!

Oh, and I've been such a good girl!! I haven't touched alcohol since last Sunday!! I successfully turned down two drinking invitations and I've only got just under 20 more hours to go till I get to celebrate my strong will power with my first drink in 6 days! Damn, I feel good!

I've been struggling a bit to keep alcohol only to the weekends and holidays for the past few weeks and this got me worrying. It also got motivated to make a very determined commitment last Sunday to not touch alcohol until Friday evening. Thursday is fast coming to an end, and although I was worried I would give in, here I am, just hours away from my goal! So, unless I decide to sneak in a drink in on one of my breaks between lessons, (or now...) I've basically reached my goal!

This is awesome!

last last friday night...

While waiting at a smoking area for my colleague for some after-work-otsukare-drinks at the HUB, a cigarette in one hand and my mobile in the other, I noticed a man scooting his way closer to me through the other smokers from the opposite side of the smoking area.

"Oneeesan..."

Now? Seriously? I thought as I pulled my mobile closer to my face and turned away from him. I took a long puff on my cigarette. Let's give him the silent treatment.

"Oneeesan..."

Silent treatment. A puff.

"Oneeesan,...Oneeesan,..."

By the forth 'Oneesan', I was pretty creeped out. I mean, how many times does a dude need to say 'Oneesan' till he thinks he has been heard? I turned his way and gave him my, 'do you belong somewhere else--a mental institute to be exact?' look. I think he took it the wrong way.

'ちょっと魅力的な顔だなと思ってさ。。。’

Ew!! I turned away, rolling my eyes. He was ugly AND old! And seriously? 'ちょっと魅力的’???　How 'bout ’今までも見たことの無いような’ or something better if you're trying to pick up a girl that is obviously 30 years (or more) younger than you!!! Back to my cigarette. Back to silent mode.

'オレとさ、お食事しましょう。ネ？お食事。お食事どうですか？’

I was like, 'SUPER not interested!' I'm meeting up with my (imaginary) boy friend,　and he's here any second, so you can F off now. Take a hint or talk to my cold shoulder, huh?' (in jp of course)

’彼氏？ウソだろ。いないだろ？一晩だけ。お食事だけですよ。このわたしじゃダメ？これじゃダメですか？’

I was like, 'Lemme think,...yeah, nope. Go away. Now.'

'笑い。良いじゃないですか！ダメですか？彼氏は一晩おいてオレとさ。。。ダメですか？’

At this point I started walking towards the other smokers, having had far more than enough of all his 'damedesukas' and his nudges and super creepy yellow-teeth-smile.

'ハハ！ダメですか？お食事まだでしょ？まだ早いからね。いいところ知ってるんですよ、この近くにっかなりの居酒屋があってさ。彼氏とのデートは他の日にしてさ、オレと。。。’

Wow! All of this talk directed at my back!! He really did belong in a mental hospital, didn't he? Where's my colleague? Why me? Can't he pick on that girl over there? I need a beeeer!!

While these thoughts and thoughts like these raced through my mind, I could hear him continue on his pathetic pick-up lines in the distance. My thoughts were loud, but not loud enough to drown out his sleazy words. I had had enough.

'Shut up, yeah? You're ruining my Friday night and I haven't even had my first beer!!'

'ハハ！ハハ！本当にダメですか？このオレじゃダメ？

At this point I do recall growling out of sheer annoyance at this dude that couldn't take a hint of any kind! That, I mean the growling, seemed to do the trick, thank god!

And with a reluctant , 'ジャ。。。また今度会いましょう！’, he started walking off towards the station.

What the hell is 'let's meet again' suppose to mean?! I was starting to get quite annoyed at my colleague who was running 5 minutes late to meet up with me for drinks. What was taking him so long? Ugh! I settled into a vacant corner in the smoking are, pulled out my 5th cig, and began lighting it when whadyaknow! Another equally old, ugly man started shimming his way towards me! It was NOT my night.

'Oneeesan...chottosa....' he began, and I wasn't going to let him finish his sentence.

'Oh, Fuck NO!! Super big FUCK NO, all capitalized! '

'オレとさ、お食事。。。’

I think I was just about to explode. I was very, VERY thirsty, my colleague was late, I had just finished my longest teaching day of the week, and I was in dire need to be left alone by perverts! I think he saw all that being translated into lava building up behind my irises, about to explode in his face and he only continued his pathetic pick-up lines for a few more seconds!

'ハハじゃ、また今度。。。’and with that he started walking away. What's with these dudes and their, 'see you next times'??? Idiots.

When my colleague finally showed up, I let him have it! Was annoyed, thirsty, tired and pissed. I drank quite a bit that night, tell ya that much.

perks

Eiko says...

There are so many things I dislike about English teaching, but it definitely has its perks.

Just today, one of my students excitedly presented me with a large paper bag after we exchanged our traditional 'how are yous?' and the 'and yous?'
"I thought you'd like it. I hope you do, anyway." she said as she watched as I peered inside the bag. Like it? I LOVED it!

I don't know how it's like with other English teacher's and how their relationships with their students are like, but my students seem to be obsessed with giving me gifts of all kinds whenever they have the opportunity. Not that I mind, really. There couldn't be a healthier obsession than to get your 'Eiko-sensei' a souvenir from your trip to Europe, or your short vacation to Okinawa, or some jewelery from your weekend in Ginza, or that coffee on your way to class.

By the way, what I found in the paper bag was a beautiful, pricey-looking leather coat! Apparently she thought the flats I was wearing last week while teaching her would go very well with the leather coat, and therefore decided that the coat just had to be mine! I think the coat actually goes better with my boots, but that's such a minor detail! The flats did it for her, and I've got a new coat!

I've also received from my students...

*home-made jewelery
*a diamond necklace
*home made Umeshu
*cosmetics
*face-packs from Korea
*confectioneries from a 5 star hotel
*horseback riding tickets
*Valentine chocolate
*sweets from all over Japan and wherever they last visited
*a bottle of expensive rum
*and did I mention the leather jacket??
*AND they take you out for meals and drinks!! Their treat!

I've got awesome students! I really, really do!

Me and the awesome face pack from Korea, courtesy of one of my student's vacation

oughta

Eiko says...

-I need to cut back on...

*smoking
*drinking
*eating junk food
*shopping at conbinis
*shopping at Zara
*browsing Facebook
*daydreaming
*being depressed

-I need to put a greater emphasis on...

*planning upcoming lessons,
*working-out
*eating healthy
*cleaning after myself
*taking care of my complexion
*thinking pretty thoughts
*prioritizing
*keeping in contact with friends
*planning ahead

-I'm looking forward to...

*spending Christmas with my family
*spending Winter Vacation with Boris
*every new weekend
*my new full paycheck
*meeting Shane again (if it's ever gunna happen)
*my next winter shopping spree (whenever that's gunna be...)
*the next Desperate Housewives episode to come out

-I'm dreading...

*my destructive cycle
*being depressed
*not being payed
*being lonely
*gaining weight over winter vacation (inevitable)
*teaching a particular student
*the day after tomorrow

ganbaranaito

Eiko says...

My life follows two cycle, generally speaking. I have my self-destructive cycle and I call the other one the self-productive cycle.

When I'm in self-destructive mode, I drink, smoke and eat with the word 'destruction' behind all my actions, influencing everything. Everything I do tends to reflect that word during this time. I find packs of empty M.reds all over my room. A decent collection of empty bottles of wine accumulates on the corner table, and the garbage bin for cans fills up twice as quickly. I'm inconsistent with my work outs. I feel sluggish, lethargic, drowsy, sleepy, unmotivated, and moody.

When I'm in self-productive mode, I stay far away from alcohol, I eat clean, and my consumption rate for cigarettes drops to less than one pack a week. I work out at every opportunity, and I'm happier, cleaner, and fitter. I'm more alert, and I get more accomplished. I turn down drinking gatherings, and I sleep early. My skin clears up.

Right now, I'm struggling to climb out of my self-destructive cycle. I know that if I don't soon, my obsession for drinking and cigarettes will be too hard to break free from. It's not easy as it is already, and this particular self-destructive cycle has been going on for a bit longer than usual. It's taking it's toll on me, and the scary part about it all is that I'm getting comfortable in my bad habits. It's not good.

emo . penie

Eiko says...

It's relaxing right now. On the table is a glass of wine. Soothing music is playing in the background. There is a cigarette in my hand. I'm in comfortable clothes. I have a place I can call my own. I find thoughts racing through my mind...

It's almost been a year since I started working at my present work place and looking back, I can see that I'm a completely different person now on so many levels. So many things happened. So many things have changed. I've been through so many new experiences. I've experienced so many highs and so many lows. Each decision I've made through the multiple experiences I've been through this year has changed and defined me, and yet I still find myself wondering who I really am and what I want to be a year from now and farther.

I find myself thinking if I've ever been through 'enough' pain and hurt. When have I been through enough pain and heartbreak? Is there even an enough point? If there isn't, is there a way to deal with the pain that life tends to throw at you at random?

I know I'm young. I know I've got years ahead of me and that I don't need to live up to the expectations of those around me. But having tasted hell and having met its servants, and knowing that life has only started for me , the possibility that what I've been through is just the beginning is one heck of a disturbing thought. I want to call stops to the sands of time. I feel like I deserve better and at the same time, like I deserve nothing beautiful, nothing good....just nothing.

When will it be enough?

How effing EMO was that?

Disgusted beyond words, I'll tell you a very amusing story of mine, from a few weeks back.

Amusing yet Disturbing Story:

I was on my way to work, one crispy morning when I saw the most disturbing thing EVER!
Across from me and slighty to my right,-- when I was glancing around like I usually do to check my surroundings,--I saw a 30(ish), constipated, not-so-very-good-looking man of average height on the opposite side of the train in baggy knee-high shorts and a T. Whatever. His appearance is so unimportant compared to what I saw, due to Mr. Constipated not wearing any undergarments!!

From where I was sitting, I could clearly see his semi-hard 'private bits' peaking through one side of his baggy shorts! I could get into details...purple and pink, bigger than average, semi hard...EW !! Ok, I'm grossing myself out! I'll stop there.

I was so disturbed I wanted to take my eye balls out of my eye sockets and disinfect them with the strongest bleach known to man!! So sicked out, I quickly turned my head and gagged.

Now, after one sees something so outrageous, they often, despite not wanting to see it again, tend to glance back to check if they actually saw what they saw. They want to see if it wasn't their sick imagination playing tricks on them, if it's still there or not. I was no exception. I kept finding myself gingerly and subconsciously glancing back to Mr. Constipated's direction, and each time being confirmed that it really wasn't just my sick imagination. That it was actually there, staring me and everyone else in the face! Turn my head. Gaaaaggg! Puke!

Mr. Constipated, I don't know if you use the Toneri Liner on a regular basis, or if you always look that constipated. In fact, I don't know anything about you and don't care to either. But PLEASE wear boxers, or boxer briefs, or Ts, or SOMETHING, ...ANYTHING, just in case I happen to bump into you again!

And although I'd love to finish this post, the degree of intoxication is too high to write anything coherent.

Will try to be more faithful with blogging, my dear blog-followers.

Cheers and enjoy the effng weekend!

atsu

Eiko says...

I just finished a very insane week at work. It's not like I had extra classes or that my students decided to collectively gang up on me or anything. For some strange reason though, I felt tired and contaminated all week long. NO, it's not because I've been drinking on week nights. I'm consistent with my work-out regime. I eat enough. I only smoke when I'm binge drinking....

It's gotta be the heat! Like 'duh' it's the heat!! The awful stench in the trains during rush hour when your nose is pressed into someone else's arm pit confirms this. All the sweat marks around the arm pit, back and neck area confirms this. Old men walking around in wife-beaters confirms this. Girls showing off lot's of leg regardless of the shape confirms this. The strong urge to run to the convenient store first thing in the morning to quench my thirst with a beer confirms all this.

I can't wait till autumn!

French

Eiko says...

I've been studying French as a third language, and although I have classified 'sticking to any one activity long-term' the epitome of the word 'impossible' long ago when I was still in nappies, I have successfully stuck to French for 2 months now! Although my study habits weren't consistent by any means, 2 months is an impressive chunk of time in my books. At least it's better than giving up after experiencing your first low which occurs within the week of starting any new activity--a nasty habit of mine.

To reward myself for this amazing achievement, I decided to find myself a French teacher. Fortunately for me, I didn't have to go on any long hunting trips to find what I wanted. The ever helpful Ken kindly offered to introduce me to his French teacher which he seemed quite happy learning from, and who he thought was a good teacher. Since Ken has the tendency to be quite picky, I was surprised by the high ratings he gave this guy, and decided to give him a go.

So, last weekend, I found myself sitting in on one of their lessons to see whether I thought he would be any good teaching a complete idiot like myself or if he was handicapped to teaching only pre-intermediate to advanced students of French. Although quite nervous and anxious over the fact that I hadn't the slightest clue as to what they were yapping on about, (the entire lesson was 100% in French) half way through the lesson I decided that I would gladly pay for this guy to be my teacher.

The reasons are as follows:

He's got very beautiful eyes--definitely worth paying an hour's worth for those to be staring at me. I liked his teaching style. He had a good aura about him, and held himself well. He rated low on the Snobbish Frenchmen Scale. He smiled a lot. He seemed relaxed and confident. He gave off a healthy young, energetic vibe. He was polite.

Our first official lesson took place last Sunday, and I was quite relieved that the lesson went smoothly, despite all the questions I kept throwing at him on a 30 second basis, and my poor understanding of only 30% of the lesson. He also was quite nice about all of my, "Je detest les nombres francais!!", which put me at ease. You see, what really threw a bucket of cold water on my efforts when I was studying French on my own were the crazy French numbers!! The counting system they have in the French language seemed like nothing short of pure non-sense and drove me bonkers! He made them seem like apple pie!

Give me 6 months, everyone. I should be able to hold a good conversation in French by then. That would be the case if, of course, I don't die from the morbid heat we're all experiencing lately!!

my drug

Eiko....

We all have our drugs, our obsessions, our addictions.
For some, it's the need to read the paper in the morning. For others, it's their cup (or x amount of cups) of coffee. It may be an ice cream in the evening, or a cigarette during a lunch break. It could be an episode of a TV series they are going through, or a certain band, singer or song. It could easily be a certain 'someone'. Without a dose of these things, we tend to become edgy, easily annoyed and fidgety. Our moods are greatly affected when we find out we won't have time or can't afford to engage in our addictions, and we simply can't get our minds off of thinking about the next time we'll be getting our 'fix'.

I've got a few.

*a beer after work
*cup noodles after a night out drinking/clubbing
*cigarettes when I'm drinking
*a coffee at least once a day
*facebook (ouch!!)

and the list goes on.

My most recent drug though is shopping. I think some call this being a shopaholic. But it's not just any random shopping. When it comes to clothes, it has to be at Zara! This sucks for me, because I pass by Zara everyday on my way to work! Seeing their latest selections through the display window and NOT buying anything requires a great deal of self-control, and I don't have a lot of the stuff.

I also don't have a lot of money! I must do something about this...

Here's the latest!

A casual T.



and a loose throw over shirt

tabetai

Eiko says...

Thanks to the weather dropping a few degrees these past few days, my appetite has decided to grace me with its presence again. I'm swinging towards sandwiches and mushroom soup these days. I don't think I have to mention beer. Beer is always welcome, rain or shine, summer, autumn, winter and spring!

Speaking of which, I just had one on my way back from work on the train. You do get the stares from all around, especially from the businessmen who ought to be drinking their stress away, but who don't have any beers in their hands. I guess when they see a young girl in front of them chugging down a can of beer with relish makes them feel a bit ... strange.

Food talk aside, work has been good for me these days. I'm learning a lot about what it means to be an English teacher. It's definitely not just about knowing your grammar and being able to spout off all you know about the topic of discussion, although very important. It's being able to know when to stay on one lesson and repeat it several times instead of just moving on to the next lesson. It's being able to detect when the student needs extra practice and drill work, or when the lesson is too easy and it's time to move on. It's being able to manage group lessons from 10 to 20 with a variety of levels mixed in there in a calm, patient way. Speaking clearly. Listening. Asking questions. Talking less. Using body language. Being intuitive. Being considerate. Being polite. And so much more!

Anybody with suggestions and pointers for English teaching? Share!

working again

Eiko says...

There's nothing like your first day at work after summer holiday. The transition from play mode to work mode isn't always the easiest thing, especially if you're a bit of an idiot like me, and drank the night before. I think I had one drink too many of whiskey, ensuring that my first day of work would be accompanied by an annoying hang over.

Finding myself at work feeling quite gross and tired, I made an impromptu decision to help myself through the rest of the week with a shopping spree. I just got paid, and Zara had their latest assortment on display. I'm thinking wicked pumps and black, classy pants to match. Also, a new bag.

more stuff

Eiko says...

I found this very thin fabriced dress shirt and figured it would be convenient to have at the office, so I bought myself one. As I'm sure you've guessed, it's Zara. Great cut, easy to match up with other items of clothing, and very suzushii. What's not to like, eh?



Ken and I hung out last night over these! An amazing combination of crackers, smoked salmon, cheese and black pepper! The only missing ingredient to perfection was a chilled chardonnay to go with it. Great job, Ken.

holiday begin

Eiko says...

1:26am, tipsy, relaxed, happy, relieved that I was able to make the last train home, amused that I had to break into my own house due to all the keys to my apartment being lost by idiots, loving friends, listening to 'More Than Words' by Extreme, and am beginning a 9-day payed-holiday.

Life is a truly beautiful thing. Although full of disappointments, there are flickers of beauty that far out-shine, and at this moment, I can't help but reflect on those past and present moments of beauty and feel like the luckiest alive on the planet.

Let the fun begin!

Life is damn good!

es sick

Eiko says...

Four days and counting till my summer vacation, and I can hardly wait! Boris will be coming down to spend a few days with me, and we've got very wicked things planned this time around. So, as long as I don't have a heat stroke, collapse and die, I should be having the time of my life in just a few days! I think I can manage to hold myself together until then. Besides, work isn't all that difficult. I enjoy English teaching overall, and the best part is that our office keeps the cooling system running at a healthy level. We contribute to the energy saving in other ways like turning the lights off during the day etc. as opposed to torturing ourselves by turning our English school into a sauna. People aren't paying us to sweat and lose water weight. They pay us to study and to become geeky and successful!

Anyway, that's probably a big part of the reason why I'm still functioning. Although, there's something else that's been eating away at me little by little which has been pushing me to my limit! And not in a good way, either!

It has come to my attention that a great deal of neglect (NOT, mind you, on my part) of cleaning after one's self has been accumulating over sometime around the kitchen and dining room area of my flat. Whenever I have time to notice, I have been making an effort to clean up the mess and left-out food that ppl tend to leave out before or after an understandably long day at work. Recently though, I haven't been able to clean up more than just after myself, and that has been manifesting itself in the sick form of FLEAS! Furious, I dedicated a day-off to scrubbing every inch of my flat, but there are still fleas flying around (although noticeably less than before). It's just sick! I'm not talking about 5 or 7 fleas happily announcing their presence around the garbage bin and the kitchen sink drain. I'm talking about fleas in the bathroom, in the bedrooms, in the kitchen and dinning room area, in the hallways and closets! In these temperatures that we're all experiencing right now, the consequences of leaving any kind of food out even just over night, (or less) is disastrous! I feel like murder!

I finished venting. I'm going to focus on the awesome pairs of shoes I recently purchased and how comfortable they were walking in today. I'm going to start breathing now.

Black nail polish ftw!
It's actually not black. It's deep purple. I just painted on four coats of polish, and you can hardly tell it's purple unless in sunlight. I kinda like that! It's more classy!

perfect sunday

Eiko says...

I was in very high spirits ever since last night after exerting myself with a mid-night workout, that I decided to treat myself to a hair cut. I'm actually trying to grow my hair out, but I've got hair enough for 3, and it was getting to be far too heavy for this year's summer. So I asked my barber to just layer and thin my hair out for me without changing the length. She did a decent enough job, and I was generally happy with her work.
I ended my day with a bit of shopping at my all-time-favorite shopping place--Nishiarai Ario. I think I made some pretty good purchases today that I'm flipping over as of now. All around, today was nothing short of perfect!

The new hair.
My barber curled my hair a little at the end, so the length of my hair is actually around 10cm or so longer than shoulder length.
I briefly considered bangs, but that thought was almost instantly disposed of by me. It's just way too hot for bangs and they also require far too much work to keep them looking decent.


The shopping.
I LOVE Randa! When it comes to shoes, the first place that comes to mind for shopping is this shoe store. They've got awesome shoes that are trendy, but also original and they offer excellent quality. Their foot wear is generally comfortable as well--a huge plus in my books. You have no idea how excited I was when I found out that they were doing a massive clearance sale! The majority of the shoes were over 50% off! Made my day!



And I saw this tunic and fell in love... so I bought it.




Tadaaimaaa~!
Man! I'm so proud of myself for walking in 'this heat' in heals with all of that stuff for 4 hours without collapsing somewhere and passing out! I mean, just breathing normally without sweating buckets is next to impossible these days.


Dinner.
I made a sea-food salad after a long day out, and washed it all down with beer! Best way EVER to end a day.

dinner these days

Eiko says...

Keep it to yourself if that doesn't look appetizing to you! A cold beer and a crisp, leafy salad is exactly what I want every night for dinner!! It's simple, satisfying, delicious and refreshing!




After work, I went out with my Wednesday morning students for 暑気払い！Was great fun drinking with them, and also chatting with them outside of the classroom. 　ヤッパ日本の夏は飲まないとダメ！！Especially this summer, with all the energy conserving going on, you have to make a conscious effort to keep your spirits high and your mind off of the heat and the humidity. And what better way than to bond over a few drinks at an Izakaya or a bar with friends?

need new shades

Eiko says...

Looking forward to...

-autumn
-going to Disney Sea for summer vaca with Boris and friends
-drinking cold beer when I get home from work
-pay day
-Friday night


I love earthy colors and simple cuts. The green dress--an early spring purchase-- is from Uniqlo and the fact that it's just so simple and no-nonsense appeals to me.


And I need a new pair of sunglasses. These ones have the tendency to slip off my nose, defeating the whole purpose of shading my eyes from the piercing rays of the sun, not to mention shielding everyone's eyes from how my face can look when I'm too lazy to wear make-up. New shades that 'stick' are at the top of my shopping list.


Yep. Shades are an absolute must-have! Keeps you from looking like a squinting dork too--a regular sight these bright sunny days! FTW!

beer ftw

Eiko says...

As unhealthy as I know this is, the only thing I can manage to stomach in this gross weather is ice-cream and beer. Just to ease my conscious I throw in a leafy salad at the end of the day (to eat with my beer) to give me the impression that I'm eating tons of vegetables and balancing things out. Of course, I know full well that lettuce isn't all that high in nutrition. But I like salads, and as of this summer the only things that will be making it past my throat and stomach are things that I like or feel like eating. The problem seems to be that the list of 'foods I like' is limited to 3: ice-cream, beer, and salad.

Wait! Make that 4. I can't make it through a day without coffee!

I just can't seem to help not eating! This heat and humidity is killing my appetite! Even if my brain still remembers how delicious pasta is and how satisfying sushi can be, when I'm face to face with food, I just can't bring myself to eat. The sensation of hunger is fast becoming a mere memory to me.

I'm not intentionally torturing myself. I simply don't have an appetite and I'm not doing anything special about it. If I don't feel like eating, I won't eat. I am concerned though that I'll pass out during an English lesson, or while I'm on my way to work, or just silently die in my sleep for lack of nutrition and energy. Dehydration may even do the trick, given that the majority of liquids I take consists of alcoholic and caffeinated beverages. I'm not cool with that.

The solution seems to be fairly simple.

a. drink more water
b. eat more food
c. stop being an idiot about all this

But since I love eating so much, the idea of forcing food and drink down when it's not welcome or when I don't feel up to eating it, is just down right unattractive to me.

We'll see what happens.

Zara tunic

Eiko says...

It's fucking hot! In this kind of hot, muggy weather the only thing I am capable of doing properly is to spread myself flat on my bed, legs and arms sprawled in all directions, and just focus on breathing. Everything else I do is being accomplished with 20% less energy and effort because simply staying alive in this freakish weather takes so much more of everything out of me.

One of the few joys of summer for me, other than eating ice-cream and drinking cold beer at the end of a work day, is shopping. I was actually going to post these pictures in my last post, but I was running short on time and decided to just spread the photos out in several posts.

This tunic is once again from Zara. Love the breezy, summery look. The material is very light and comfortable. The cut is great for when let's say you're invited to a drinking party or a barbecue and you're planning on doing a bit of binging. People won't be able to notice your growing tummy. It's just awesome!!

more Zara shopping

Eiko says...

I did more shopping at Zara!! I couldn't help myself. I just knew I'd be regretting it if I hadn't bought these items before the sales were out, and I've been told by multiple people, multiple times to not do things one may regret in the future.

I LOVE summer sales!!

This blue, ...thing has had me fixed on buying it for the longest time, and now it's mine!! The material is amazingly comfortable and I love the fact that it's loose. Perfect for the freakish temperatures these days.



The short white vest I'm wearing over everything is not Zara, but the summer sales has caught up with all the clothes stores around, and when I splurge, I really splurge!
I've got an unspoken 'no-lace' rule, but I guess this would be the exception to that. It worked well with the blue thingie, and when something works, you're allowed to fuck the rules.