terribly unhealthy

Eiko says...

For the hundredth time, I have decided to pick up my exercise routine.

I really ought to just keep to a particular exercise routine and go at it so I won't have to go through the trouble of my regaining lost stamina and strength, and having to schedule and time things all over again to fit a work out, and cooking food. Unfortunately, when a crisis happens in my life, the first thing that tends to get kicked out of order happens to be my health and everything tied to it. I get depressed or emotional--> I eat chocolate and drink lot's and lot's of alcohol, --> When I drink, I smoke--> I don't wake up early enough to fit in a work out--> I get lazy and my lungs get weak, and my blood sluggish--> after a week or two, I feel terrible--> working out is the last thing on my mind--> I continue on in my lazy state and ...

THAT'S about time when I put my foot down and call it time to get back!!

Right now is right about time where I'm putting my foot down and getting back into a healthy schedule, but I just started my monthly the other day, and I am in quite a bit of pain. Yuck. It will just have to wait. . . some more.

valentines

Eiko says,...

Happy Valentine's Day to you all.

The last week has been one tear-jerking event after another, and honestly, I'm all out of tears to cry. (possibly the biggest lie I've ever told on this blog) I really think I had enough of drama to last me at least another week, and I would really appreciate it if I could get away with not shedding a tear these next 7 days or so. (tears from cutting onions and yawning don't count!)

Break Ups are never fun and/or pretty things, and mine was quite dramatic. I haven't felt that kind of void in a while. It's been ages since I cried like that too...I do surprise myself sometimes with the most ridiculous outbursts when it comes to things related to matters of the heart. Well, that sickening void that seems to suck the rest of the life left in you away needs to be taken care of quick, and I have been going to great lengths to fill that particular void that I was feeling in my heart to make sure that doesn't happen.

The last 4 days have been a series of weeping, drowning myself in alcohol, cigarettes, and indulging myself in disgustingly romantic novels and films, sappy music, chocolate, filth, and self-loathing. Indulging in those things seemed to be the only few things I was capable of doing! I was mentally paralyzed.

I missed my last train AGAIN the other night while out drinking down-town with co-workers. I almost slipped on the icy-sidewalk walking back from an all-you-can-drink-night-out. One night I even drank alone...something I JUST DON'T DO! The mornings were spent recovering from hang-overs and rolling and moaning in bed from exhaustion and pain.

But it's time to get up, get over it, and start living. It's Valentine's Day, and I started it off right. I woke up and did a work-out--flushing out my lungs from all the smoke, and getting my heart pumping and my blood flowing. I felt better teaching at work, and talking with friends. Something happened later on in the evening that threw me back on my back and I felt paralyzed all over again. But what can you do? Right now, staying on the floor isn't much of an option. Tomorrow's another day.

Life can be a real bitch sometimes.

Sigh.

Oh, right. Happy Valentine's Day, just in case I didn't say it here.

Bah!

P.S.
'No emotional, sappy shit on this blog' was a rule, and I just broke it! ...
Watch 'Tangled'. It was a great film! *wink*