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Hi blog,
Today, I feel gross and filthy. My body hasn't seen soap or water in 2 full days, and in weather like what we're experiencing these days, that's border line! I feel like there are ants crawling all over my skull, my feet feel like they've got an extra layer of something coating them, and I can feel the crap on my skin! It's just disgusting. I was meaning to shower before work, but I overslept thanks to the long night I had, and barely had enough time to throw some clothes on and run out the door. I truly look like a mess.
On my way to work, self-hating thoughts kept popping up while I let myself dangle from a train strap when a man standing to my left caught my eye. Actually, the roughly 50, healthy looking pubes growing just below and above his lips caught my eye! He was young-ish. Maybe in his late 20's with a Johnny-Depp-wannabe-hat sitting on long dyed hair. Thick, black rimmed glasses adorned his face, and those pubes... they looked so pathetic. The squiggly, wiry kind. All of a sudden, I felt so, so clean.
I'm not a fan of facial hair. It looks insanitary, and it's no pie when you're making out with someone with even a well-groomed mustache or beard or goatee. It's forgivable when it compliments the face and gives the person a certain 'look'. But there is no room for those .... pube-like, unkempt, untrimmed facial hair-dos. It's just abhorring. Really. REAAAALLY.
It's a Monday, and once again, I find myself struggling to make the 'play -> work' switch. I try, of course, but it's not easy to concentrate, especially after a weekend of partying. I can't help but think about all the interesting things that happened at Marix and what I'll do next weekend.
Going to Marix was a impromptu decision. The original plan for my Saturday was to spend a lazy night at home, watching a film and eating discounted sushi from the supermarket accompanied with a bottle of chilled Chimay. What was flawed about this plan was the timing. I started my lazy-night-at-home at around 8:00pm, and the film lasted only until 9:30pm, naturally. That left me at a very awkward time. It was far too early to sleep, and it was also far too early (for me) to head out to the bars. After thinking about this a little and going through the few options I had, I decided to to chuck down some Gossip Girl episodes while I waited for Boris to get off work, and get some laundry-folding done at the same time. But there is a limit to how much Gossip Girl one can take in, and by the time I went to pick my sister up from work, I had had far past that limit which made me feel mentally contaminated. It was time for a change of scenery.
As I met up with little sis, she told me a about how much work sucked and how much she needed a drink, and after she sorted things out in her mind by mumbling this and that angrily under her breath, she came to the decision that she would really want that drink to be at Marix. And so... well, so it was! I said, 'Sure, Bunny, let's go to Marix.' Let's go disinfect my person with some alcohol, why don't we.
At Marix, things were alarmingly quiet. The bar was only 50% full, and the dance floor was next to bare. It was just a little past midnight, so it was about time for things to be booming here, but oh well, we all have bad days, right? We ordered gin and tonics, and lazied back into our chairs. Girl talk, and men-slamming banter began after the first sip or two over millions of cigs, and after we emptied our glasses the party was on! There's something about getting together with your best friend, girl-talking all of your problems off of your chest over a few drinks, smokes and good music. It just makes things right. I felt good. I felt like it was a fantastic decision to be at Marix. I felt like this night was gunna rock! It did.
Things did heat up around 2:00 am. I danced my ass off! The married dude that I secretly lust after has a creepy senpai who confessed his feelings for me. I turned him down. He got pissed off and left Marix. Whew! Somebody was kind and bought boris and me many drinks. Married dude, I found out, lusts after me too! The cool dancing dudes whom we like were there and made things even cooler! I drank a lot and didn't get drunk. The kind dude that bought us drinks had naughty hands which wouldn't stay off my ass! Annoying. Kind, but not so nice. I got pissed off at kind dude after he groped my boobs. We played our favorite songs. Somebody looked exactly like Lee!
etc. etc. etc.
See? This is why I can't concentrate on working! Ugh!
With two bags slung over each of my shoulders, I made my way out of the classroom, hurrying, hoping to get my hands on the better conbini bentos before everyone else. Should I get the one with all the tempura on it, or the healthier fish one? I should definitely pass on the fried chicken bento though. It's evil as pie!! 1050 fuckin' calories lurk within its deliciousness, and despite my addiction for fried chicken, it's not worth the jog I'll have to do later at the gym. Hungry thoughts raced through my mind and my stomach growled and just when my feet were about to go down a flight of stairs, I heard a "Wait! Please!" I turned around, and saw my student's head poking out from behind the door. "Can I please send you?" He asked with a sheepish smile. I took that to mean that he wanted to give me a lift on his bike again. I've become an expert and deciphering broken English sentences. Hm. Well, at least he didn't say 'Can I please ride you?' I smiled and nodded my head. I hate walking in the summer heat, and I wanted a good conbini lunch. So sure!
As thankful as I was about the lift, I can't help but have a hunch about this guy, my 50-some-year-old student whom I teach, and it's not the nicest of hunches either. I always felt like he ( and I don't want to sound conceited or anything) likes me. Yes, it's great to be liked, and it's really great to be liked by your students. But when they like you, have a crush on you, it swings 180 degrees.
It's difficult to explain a gut feeling. He's never said that he has a crush on me, or that he fantasizes about me out loud, but the feeling you get when you feel somebody's eyes on you, or when they are excessively giddy and happy when they meet you, or when they try to be subtle about invites to a drink or two, is unmistakable. You can't miss it, and it makes you uncomfortable, but at that stage, nothing really can be done about it yet.
So shit.
