thanks for the ride

Dragging my feet to my office from the Community Center where I gave my morning lesson, I thought that if I toppled over and fainted in this freakish heat, it wouldn't be any surprise. For one, I've been short on sleep these past few days for a million reasons, and it was taking it's toll on my body. Then of course, the summer heat hasn't been easing up at all, and since it was noon with the sun high in the sky, I felt like someone was trying to cook me for lunch! I had forgotten my sunglasses, so I was squinting like an idiot and I had also forgotten to put on sunscreen so my poor skin was taking a direct hit! Every step I took seemed like a miracle. I had this expression on that could kill ants. And right when I just about had enough of the torture, I heard 2 loud honks directly behind me!

I jumped and spun around, finding myself face-to-face with one of my students from the Community Center on his motorcycle. 
"Wanna ride?" He asked, and I swear he was glowing! Was that a halo over his head? Ah, ... shiny white helmet reflecting the sunlight. Whatever! Who cares?! I was sick of walking and complaining!
"Absolutely! Thanks!" I said, as  I let him take my bags and balance them in the front. (still not sure how he did it. )  He then got off his bike, and pulled out a shiny red helmet from the seat which swung open, and plopped it on my head. It was a beautiful helmet. I felt butterflies in my stomach. The color red does that to me. I was so excited!

He got back on his bike and told me to hop on to which I 'ooohed' and 'aheed' and clapped my hands over, but it all of a sudden hit me: Get on that.... thing? How on earth am I suppose to get on and stay on unless I hold on to my student for dear life? And holding onto my student for dear life was not an option! He's my good-looking, married, 50-some year old student who announced to the whole class when I first started teaching them that he would quit if I was ever to be replaced by another teacher, that I was the only teacher he wanted. Also, he took a picture of me on his cell-phone, saying he wanted to show his family and friends his new English teacher. He also came up to me at the end of one of the classes to show off his new jeans he just bought, explaining how well they fit him, etc. I hesitated as these thoughts rushed through my tired mind. 

For a few seconds.

Ah, fuck it!  I clumsily got on the back, doing an excellent job not to use him to stable my balance, and off we went! I was freaked out of my mind! Well, c'mon! It was my first time EVER on a motorcycle, and we were zooming between cars and trucks, and so on and so forth! AND I wasn't holding on to anything! My hands were balled up into fists, and I think I might have ground my teeth once or twice. But I must say, it was exhilarating! The wind against my skin, and the speed, and the possibility of being tossed off and losing a limb or two gave me this unfamiliar adrenaline that got me beaming from ear to ear like a freak. This dude, my student, just made my day! 

He got me to the station in record time, and with a 'If you ever need a ride again, hope I can lend you a hand', he was off. Totally, totally cool!

Anyway, check out my Zara jacket! Words fail me,... it's just adorable!

students... ugh

Every Friday from 6:00 to 7:00, I teach two junior high school students English conversation and a bit of grammar on the side, and damn, do they have a way of getting to me! One is a girl, an awkwardly lanky girl with a face you can't put a finger on with beady eyes, hair always pulled into two tight piggie-tails, and her shoulders are always slouched forward. The other is a boy, equally lanky but in a sporty way, tanned skin, a quiet face and hair that falls into his eyes. Sometimes I wonder if these two were sent from some strange planet to torture my mind!

During our lesson, I give them a question starter that we all use to create our own question to ask the class. After any given instruction on question, I ask if I was understood and the usual reply I get is a stony blank stare from the both of them. 

"Well, did you or didn't you understand?" I press, a smile plastered on my face.
"........."
I turn to the girl. "Shall I repeat the question? Did you understand?" At this point, I'm already tapping imginary fingers on the table in an impatient way, but I know that only 10 minutes have passed, and that I'd have to hang on quite a bit longer. 
"arghhacoeuihaoiu#$%&%!" is her usual reply. And so it begins.
"Okay, I need that in English. It's an English lesson, remember? English!" I press, still smiling, but I can just only imagine how fake it must look. 
"raahraahraaaahhhgh!" This time, it's her special grunt. I have taken this to mean that regardless of whether she understands or not she refuses to speak in English. I sigh heavily, and turn to the boy, who is blank in his expression and has his eyes fixed on some tiny object on the table, only visible to him. 
"And you? Did you understand?" I ask, and to which he nods. 
"Well then! Let's hear the answer!" He rolls his eyes twice, and mutters the answer snail-pace under his breath, putting on a very strong Japanese accent on purpose, eyes still fixed on the unseen. 
"Fantastic answer! Well done. Did you hear that?" I keep things upbeat the best I can, and turn to the girl who is now pulling on her remarkably stretchy cheeks, and rolling her eyes back, making her face look like... I don't know, a modern artist's piece gone wrong?
"No, no, no, no, noooooooo!" At lest this time, her answer I could understand! 

This goes on for about 20 minutes. The girl is playing with her face, skin, and hair, and everything else on the table while grunting and making sassy quick comments in Japanese, while the boy continues to stare and stare... and stare. Occasionally, he peeks up and smirks and giggles at the faces she's pulling, which really eggs her on. And I.... well, try my best not to do something I'll regret later.

The most annoying thing of all is that I know for a fact that both students are quite intelligent. Their homework is usually 85% correct, they've got good spelling and grammar, and sometimes they correctly answer my questions in Japanese, indicating that they understand completely. I guess they're just trying to make this hour the most tortuous they can. They do an excellent job.

When I first realized that I was to teach these two, I remember my mind freezing up. I've heard other teachers try teaching them and 'disastrous' would be an understatement to describe those lessons. And as I started teaching them myself, I quickly caught on that in cases like this, being more strict and angry didn't help anything. Teenagers are a brand of there own and each must be handled with great care and concern. I made it a point to laugh at the girl's strange faces, and sometimes ask the boy what he was so intent on looking at. Was it a ghost, a pea, some species that can be invisible? This did help things a little, but when I say 'a little', I mean, less then 5%.

Until the last second, they keep this up: face pulling, grunting, staring, laughing, giggling, talking in Japanese..almost everything besides English! It's a real pain. I'm not trying to ask for special advice, sympathy, or anything in particular. We all had our special ways of expressing ourselves when we were in our teens, and I understand that it's a phase. But I do need to vent somewhere, and vent I shall!

And the surprising thing is that the girl told her mom that she particularly enjoyed my lessons. Well, girl, thanks for not showing it during class! I need a beer! Argh! 

obon

I've been counting the days for my Obon Holiday, and now that it's finally here I am in complete bliss! I painted my nails, I sorted and picked out holiday clothes, and I've been paying my respects to the bars I love! So far, I must say that I've been having a lovely start to Obon, and I can see that things will be picking up fast! I'll make sure it does.

The only two things that I think are less than perfect are that Boris has work during my days off, and that I'm a little short on cash. Oh, and also that I feel like I'm stepping into some kind of torture-by-heat-and-humidity-machine each time I step out the door! Really, this heat has got to give us a breather soon! What is it trying to do, kill everyone? Ugh!

Anyway, check out my awesome new 'thing' from Zara!! LOVE IT!

it is finished

It is finished!!

Yesterday was my last day of work for the year, and I'm feeling soooooooooooo good! Starting from today, I have around 2 weeks off from teaching, and I am at loss for words to describe how relieved and relaxed I am right now as I sit on the floor of my room in front of the heater, just being. Coldplay is playing in the background. I'm alone. It's perfect. I don't have to mind anybody. I don't have to fuss about the students I'll be teaching the next day. I don't have to plan any lessons. I'm loving the stillness of everything. I want to take this moment--this slice of perfection--and make it last forever.

Unfortunately, wishful thinking doesn't help or change anything. All good things have the tendency to come to an end. Annoying, but it's OK, especially when I've got better things to look forward to! Like Boris, for example. If there's going to be noise, if there's going to be any kind of talking and listening going on for me this holiday, it might as well be with people I love--Boris, other siblings, Mom, Dad, and a few other dear friends.

I really miss her. She's one person I feel I can really be myself around, all the good and all the bad, without the fear of being accepted or misjudged. I can be who I really am without the need I sometimes feel to impress, to be strong, to entertain, or being careful about what's coming out of my mouth. Our friendship somehow holds through everything. I can be weak with her. I can let myself be the mess that I am, and I know she'll still love me the same. I'm so glad we're spending this winter vacation together! I'm even more glad that she's going to be living with me in Tokyo next year!

hayaku!!

I'm excited! I've only got 3 more days of work before I enter my long awaited, much deserved (?) winter vacation!! Can somebody please fast-forward time to the 23rd? I want to get on with my life!! I want to see Boris! I want to be breathing in fresh air and drinking clean water! I want to eat home-made food! I want to see my siblings!

weird men. ew!

A few weeks ago while I was walking around a nearby department store during break time, an old man approached me out of the blue and handed me a piece of paper:

ちょっと後で読んでみてください。

It was weird. I gave him a very blank, quizzical stare and raised an eyebrow, stuffed the piece of paper in my pocket, turned around and walked off. I had nothing to say to him, and besides I'm quite leery of men who come up and talk to me, as they often end up to just be your average, horny, slightly pervy dude, hoping for a date or a one-night-stand. To be honest though, I initially thought this old man was different (that with the note and all). I thought he might be one of those fortune tellers who randomly receive premonitions about random people he randomly meets, and gives them prophecies that he receives for them. I was very wrong.

On my way back to my office, I pulled the piece of paper from my pocket and gave it a quick skim. It was instantly obvious to me that it wasn't a prophecy at all. What first caught my eye out of the messy, hand written note was '30-40万'. What caught my eye after that was a phone number. After connecting the dots and being hit over the head with the realization that the note I was holding in my hand was really a proposal to be this man's personal .... well, whore, and making my 'ewww-grose-face', I picked up the pace and did my best to hurry in my new, decently-heeled-boots, (awesome for making my legs look long and not-so-fat, but horrible when you need to rush it). I felt anxious and kept looking over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't being followed. What a creep!!

As soon as I reached my office, I heaved a gigantic sigh of relief and disgust and sank in my chair. I took out the piece of paper and this time gave it a decent read. A rough summary of the note would be that he wanted to 'date' me, and for every 'date' he would offer anywhere between 300-400,000 yen. 2-3 times a week would be nice. He's 61 years old (Ew!) and owns his own company. The last girl he was 'dating' had graduated from uni and was moving to a different country and he was interested in looking for another...well, date. He's in a hurry to catch an appointment, but if I could kindly leave a message at the number he had written, he would get back to me ASAP.

Wow. Seriously? Seriously??? Ran to the bathroom and stared into the mirror, raised my eyebrows, asked myself: Seriously? How many weird old men do I have to meet before I meet someone decent?! I think I'm a magnet for strange, horny, old pervs. If not that, then married, engaged, divorced!! I need a break. SERIOUSLY!

P.S

My finger '(which I had accidentally sliced while attempting to cook after a night out drinking ) is healing up. The image bellow was taken a week after the incident, and now after 2 weeks, it looks very different but not any prettier, unfortunately. Since I had decided against getting stitched up at a hospital, the cut kept opening up, and healed in such a way that it looks like a,...well,...healed open cut. It's VERY unattractive. VERY sad.

drunk cooking is stupid

Woke up with a throbbing head ache (or hangover, choose your pick), and also a throbbing, dull-and-sharp-at-the-same-time-pain in my finger!! Figuring out why my head was in pain was no rocket science--the alcohol staining my breath helped. But why my finger was in so much pain was a mystery to me. I squinted my eyes and tried to focus on my left index finger and made out a very bloody excuse for a band-aide wrapped tightly around the top of my finger. Hm. Ok, a cut. Interesting.

But upon pulling myself out of bed and looking around my room, I noticed that my bed sheets were also smeared with blood in messy splotches here and there. The walls of my room, the door, carpet, door handle, clothes, and bag had splotches of blood as well. Something wasn't quite right. I glanced at my aching finger and raised a curious eyebrow. The blood all over my room had to come from somewhere, and although I obviously had a cut on my finger, it seemed to be rather small to have bled all that...well, blood!

After giving myself some time to remember the previous night and also many glasses of water, little bits and pieces of what had happened began to return to me. I had started my Friday night with the first drink of the week with a colleague, and I remember thinking how delicious it was! After coming home, I drank a little in the cafe with the Chiba family, and then helped Ken out with the wine he had received from one of his many fans. I don't remember feeling especially drunk, but i reckon I must have been because a. I only had a coffee and a sandwich that day and b. it was my first drink in 6 solid days!

I must have been feeling hungry, because I distinctly remember trying to peel and mince some garlic up for a soup of some kind, and naturally, I'm guessing that's when I cut my finger.

I do remember panicking. I remember blood drip, drip, dripping from the cut. I remember not feeling any pain too, which kind of freaked me out because there was so much blood everywhere! I'm talking about puddles on the floor, smudges on the table, on the cutting board, knife, counter, sink, hallway, ... everywhere!

According to Ken, I was quite drunk and very annoying. (To be fair, i was drunk!!) The kind soul managed to overcome the annoyance he felt at the moment and patched my finger up with a band-aid and cleaned up the aftermath, except the mess in my room. That would explain my bloody bedsheets and walls.


Moral of the evening I drank too much:

Cooking when you're drunk is a very stupid idea.

P.S.

It's been a few days, and my cut keeps reopening. I think I may need stitches. Although, I am positive I won't go to get stitched up whether I need to or not.

seriously...

I'm at a cozy Starbucks, enjoying my lunch break with a cup of hot coffee, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, and a bit of blogging on the side.


It's a perfect December day: the piercing cold, heavy clouds, gray sky, and Christmas decorations and music everywhere! To be honest, I hate the cold. My body doesn't seem to know how to cope with crazy-low temperatures and has the tendency to shut down a bit during the winter. I've been trying to figure all this out for the many years I have had to suffer through the cold seasons, and I think I've finally figured out what's going on! My body is trying to go into hibernation, just like any other sensible mamel should! But since it's December, one of the bussiest months of the year, hibernation isn't anywhere close to being even an option to cope with cold. So I don't hibernate and struggle on. My body freaks out because it's not hibernating! My body starts shutting down certain functions as a result, and I start feeling and looking awful! I'm brilliant!!


Every year when winter rolls around, my neck and shoulders cramp up, my back starts hurting, my toes change from healthy pink to a dangerous grey-purple, my usually lucious lips crack and consequently are a bloody mess, the time that it takes to tumble out of bed is anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours, and if you were to only look at my hands, you would think that they belonged to someone 30 years older! But despite all these symptoms of badness, if it weren't cold during December, something wouldn't seem right. To me, winter time is what it is because getting up in the morning and crawling out of bed is so difficult. Because I can see my breath. Because I get to wear my favorite winter boots. Because I have to sleep under layers of blankets to keep warm. Because when I come back from the bathroom around midnight, my bed is no longer warm, and finding sleep after that takes forever. Without these things, winter wouldn't be winter! It would be something entirely else, and I don't think I'll like it very much.


Speaking of winter, it's almost Christmas. Christmas is all about family, love and  the food!! Speaking of the food, I can't believe I'll be cooking Christmas dinner this year after I repeatedly let the family know that Boris and I would take little to no part in cooking for everybody this year! We were so determined not to, you should have heard us!


Over the phone with Boris:


Boris: Eiko, let's not cook Christmas dinner this year.


Me: Yeah, forget it! I'm not gunna be anywhere near that kitchen! Ugh! HATE my hair and clothes smelling like fried chicken! (HUGE pet-peeve) Hate my fingers smelling like garlic days after! Hate my finger nails being fucked up by my sloppy knife skills!


Boris: Let's just relax and let everybody else fuss and take care of stuff we do every year! I mean, I'll have work at Ikegami that day! I don't want to come back and cook dinner! I just want to spend time with you and relax! (Awww!) It's their turn anyway.


Me: Totally. I can't enjoy anything laid out on the table after slaving away in the kitchen, cutting, tasting, preparing, marinating and cooking all of it! I smell and look bad after a day in the kitchen, and I feel full. Can't even enjoy drinking when I'm like that! Dangerous sign! No ways, man! I'm not gunna cook! But who's gunna cook if we aren't?


Boris: Eiko, don't worry about that! If we won't, somebody will HAVE to! We're a smart family AND we're a big family. Somebody will figure something out eventually. I'd rather a whatever dinner, or even ordering pizza or eating out than cooking! Seriouslly, Eiko. This year, we're gunna be the ones enjoying the dinner while everybody else runs around fixing things up. I'm NOT.GOING.TO.COOK!!


Me: True. Why has it always been us anyway when there are so many of us?


Boris: I know, right? So many able-bodied Matsuokas! There's Yoko, there's Tom, there's the sisters-in-law minus, I guess, the pregnant one, there's Mom (Boris was very desperate), and there's well, ...Dad! (Desperate!) And Ai-chan and Akari-chan will whip up the deserts! Voilla!! Christmas dinner is served! Oh, and there's Yasu and Yuya! Oh, and there's Sam! Wow!


Me: OK, Boris, let's do this! We're going to retire! (for this year, anyway)


Boris: This is so awesome! We need to let the family know we've retired!


Me: OK! Let's post this on FB!


Boris: Seriously!


Me: I know, seriously!


Boris: OK, good.




And after all that and then some, where we are, planning and fussing over Christmas dinner. I'm going to need a box or two of fags!

golden silence

I hurriedly stomped my way through the painful cold to the station to catch my train home. It had been a long day of teaching and all I could think of was hot food, and relaxing in my warm room with David Cook's sexy voice in the back ground, helping me erase all thoughts of work, negativity and annoyances from my mind.

My work is by no means difficult or physically taxing. I enjoy teaching, and my working environment is generally relaxed and casual. My students are very nice, and the colleagues are too, usually. But somehow, I find myself feeling quite drained by the end of each week. Perhaps it's the constant interaction with people that my job requires of me. It could also be the 'teacher-face' that I have to keep up all day that gets to be so exhausting. (You know, when you have to keep smiling, agreeing, nodding, being polite, being gentle, laughing, commenting, instructing, complimenting, when that's the exact opposite of what you really feel at the moment.) But whatever it is, I just want to be alone when I'm not working. I don't want to have to open my mouth unless I want to. I don't want to be polite unless I feel like it. I don't want to have any thoughts of keeping up a conversation unless I want to be conversing in the first place. I don't want to have to be thinking of what the right thing to say might be. I want to be silent. I want to be alone. I want to be with company that understands this, and that can even appreciate a healthy silent streak.

I love chatting and sharing thoughts and opinions with people. I love getting to know people better and of course, I want to be closer to my friends. But there's a time for everything, and after I come back from work is just not the time for it.

I'm counting the days till my winter vacation. I want to be with my family!!

no effin' ways

My boss and I were waiting at a cross way for the lights to change, when the conversation that changed my whole attitude towards the Holiday season happened!

He began out of the blue, "You know, I attended 17 'bounenkais' last year?"

Out loud, I replied with a, "Wow, impressive!"

In my mind,
Wow, Sir! I used to wonder where you got that fine beer belly of yours, but not anymore!

Our conversation consisted of the Holiday season, year end parties, and about some of our mutual students, but what he had said about his bounenkais really got me thinking. I had initially found the connection between his beer belly and the 17 bounekais funny, but after giving it more thought, I remembered that I had 5 year-end parties already marked in my schedule book, and being that it's not even December, I wouldn't be surprised if more were on the horizon! Somehow, the connection between my belly and those year end parties weren't as humorous. In fact, the thought depressed me.

Year-end parties are unavoidable. And even if I could avoid them, I wouldn't want to! For me, they are what make the holiday season quite exciting! The drinks and food are usually free for me as the English Instructor, so obviously that's an attractive, great factor. I also enjoy hanging out with my students/colleagues outside of the classroom/office setting, Everybody is generally more relaxed and 'themselves'. And it's no secret that I genuinely enjoy drinking! Unfortunately, the reality is that these bounekais are exactly what they are because of all the drinking, eating, late-nights, second-hand-smoke (or in my case, first-hand smoke) and the rest of the unhealthy package! In Japan, December is just as much 'bounenkai-time' as it is 'Christmas-time'. Put them both together (oh, and don't forget New Years and vacation) and you've got the perfect recipe for 'get-super-fat'! It really is depressing!

For me, skipping a bounenkai to keep my waist line in check is not an option. But neither is not fitting into my favorite winter outfits, or purging. I felt quite hopeless after mulling this all over in my mind, but I did come to a conclusion and a definite decision. I simply would NOT allow myself to gain weight with the rest of the nation! Ugh! No ways!! The big, unanswered questions is 'how?' How I'm going to manage maintaining a healthy weight during the weeks of partying and celebrating is still a little bit hazy. But I am DETERMINED!

Below are some steps I'm taking right now to avoid the year end weight gain.

*I ONLY drink on the weekends, or at parties.
*I drink loads of water everyday to flush out the crap I've fed my body at the last party.
*I work out frequently and passionately.
*I balance out my enormous calorie intake throughout the following week of the party.
*I make a conscious effort to keep track of my daily calorie intake, and what these calories consist of.

Yep.

And seriously, Sir? seven-effing-bounenkais? Seriously?

very happy

Eiko says...

Let's add 'a free pass for either Disney Sea or Land' to the list of 'perks', shall we not? Damn, my students love me! And the love is mutual, of course. Can't help loving someone that doesn't know when to stop treating you.

Naturally, I was in a very festive mood after receiving the gift from one of my students, so I headed off to Zara to compliment the moment with a bit of shopping for my winter wardrobe! I bought a black coat that I had my eyes on ever since it first graced one of the Zara mannequins a month ago, and a simple red shirt that has a wonderful winter touch to it. I'm all set and ready for the weekend!

Oh, and I've been such a good girl!! I haven't touched alcohol since last Sunday!! I successfully turned down two drinking invitations and I've only got just under 20 more hours to go till I get to celebrate my strong will power with my first drink in 6 days! Damn, I feel good!

I've been struggling a bit to keep alcohol only to the weekends and holidays for the past few weeks and this got me worrying. It also got motivated to make a very determined commitment last Sunday to not touch alcohol until Friday evening. Thursday is fast coming to an end, and although I was worried I would give in, here I am, just hours away from my goal! So, unless I decide to sneak in a drink in on one of my breaks between lessons, (or now...) I've basically reached my goal!

This is awesome!

last last friday night...

While waiting at a smoking area for my colleague for some after-work-otsukare-drinks at the HUB, a cigarette in one hand and my mobile in the other, I noticed a man scooting his way closer to me through the other smokers from the opposite side of the smoking area.

"Oneeesan..."

Now? Seriously? I thought as I pulled my mobile closer to my face and turned away from him. I took a long puff on my cigarette. Let's give him the silent treatment.

"Oneeesan..."

Silent treatment. A puff.

"Oneeesan,...Oneeesan,..."

By the forth 'Oneesan', I was pretty creeped out. I mean, how many times does a dude need to say 'Oneesan' till he thinks he has been heard? I turned his way and gave him my, 'do you belong somewhere else--a mental institute to be exact?' look. I think he took it the wrong way.

'ちょっと魅力的な顔だなと思ってさ。。。’

Ew!! I turned away, rolling my eyes. He was ugly AND old! And seriously? 'ちょっと魅力的’???　How 'bout ’今までも見たことの無いような’ or something better if you're trying to pick up a girl that is obviously 30 years (or more) younger than you!!! Back to my cigarette. Back to silent mode.

'オレとさ、お食事しましょう。ネ？お食事。お食事どうですか？’

I was like, 'SUPER not interested!' I'm meeting up with my (imaginary) boy friend,　and he's here any second, so you can F off now. Take a hint or talk to my cold shoulder, huh?' (in jp of course)

’彼氏？ウソだろ。いないだろ？一晩だけ。お食事だけですよ。このわたしじゃダメ？これじゃダメですか？’

I was like, 'Lemme think,...yeah, nope. Go away. Now.'

'笑い。良いじゃないですか！ダメですか？彼氏は一晩おいてオレとさ。。。ダメですか？’

At this point I started walking towards the other smokers, having had far more than enough of all his 'damedesukas' and his nudges and super creepy yellow-teeth-smile.

'ハハ！ダメですか？お食事まだでしょ？まだ早いからね。いいところ知ってるんですよ、この近くにっかなりの居酒屋があってさ。彼氏とのデートは他の日にしてさ、オレと。。。’

Wow! All of this talk directed at my back!! He really did belong in a mental hospital, didn't he? Where's my colleague? Why me? Can't he pick on that girl over there? I need a beeeer!!

While these thoughts and thoughts like these raced through my mind, I could hear him continue on his pathetic pick-up lines in the distance. My thoughts were loud, but not loud enough to drown out his sleazy words. I had had enough.

'Shut up, yeah? You're ruining my Friday night and I haven't even had my first beer!!'

'ハハ！ハハ！本当にダメですか？このオレじゃダメ？

At this point I do recall growling out of sheer annoyance at this dude that couldn't take a hint of any kind! That, I mean the growling, seemed to do the trick, thank god!

And with a reluctant , 'ジャ。。。また今度会いましょう！’, he started walking off towards the station.

What the hell is 'let's meet again' suppose to mean?! I was starting to get quite annoyed at my colleague who was running 5 minutes late to meet up with me for drinks. What was taking him so long? Ugh! I settled into a vacant corner in the smoking are, pulled out my 5th cig, and began lighting it when whadyaknow! Another equally old, ugly man started shimming his way towards me! It was NOT my night.

'Oneeesan...chottosa....' he began, and I wasn't going to let him finish his sentence.

'Oh, Fuck NO!! Super big FUCK NO, all capitalized! '

'オレとさ、お食事。。。’

I think I was just about to explode. I was very, VERY thirsty, my colleague was late, I had just finished my longest teaching day of the week, and I was in dire need to be left alone by perverts! I think he saw all that being translated into lava building up behind my irises, about to explode in his face and he only continued his pathetic pick-up lines for a few more seconds!

'ハハじゃ、また今度。。。’and with that he started walking away. What's with these dudes and their, 'see you next times'??? Idiots.

When my colleague finally showed up, I let him have it! Was annoyed, thirsty, tired and pissed. I drank quite a bit that night, tell ya that much.

perks

Eiko says...

There are so many things I dislike about English teaching, but it definitely has its perks.

Just today, one of my students excitedly presented me with a large paper bag after we exchanged our traditional 'how are yous?' and the 'and yous?'
"I thought you'd like it. I hope you do, anyway." she said as she watched as I peered inside the bag. Like it? I LOVED it!

I don't know how it's like with other English teacher's and how their relationships with their students are like, but my students seem to be obsessed with giving me gifts of all kinds whenever they have the opportunity. Not that I mind, really. There couldn't be a healthier obsession than to get your 'Eiko-sensei' a souvenir from your trip to Europe, or your short vacation to Okinawa, or some jewelery from your weekend in Ginza, or that coffee on your way to class.

By the way, what I found in the paper bag was a beautiful, pricey-looking leather coat! Apparently she thought the flats I was wearing last week while teaching her would go very well with the leather coat, and therefore decided that the coat just had to be mine! I think the coat actually goes better with my boots, but that's such a minor detail! The flats did it for her, and I've got a new coat!

I've also received from my students...

*home-made jewelery
*a diamond necklace
*home made Umeshu
*cosmetics
*face-packs from Korea
*confectioneries from a 5 star hotel
*horseback riding tickets
*Valentine chocolate
*sweets from all over Japan and wherever they last visited
*a bottle of expensive rum
*and did I mention the leather jacket??
*AND they take you out for meals and drinks!! Their treat!

I've got awesome students! I really, really do!

Me and the awesome face pack from Korea, courtesy of one of my student's vacation

oughta

Eiko says...

-I need to cut back on...

*smoking
*drinking
*eating junk food
*shopping at conbinis
*shopping at Zara
*browsing Facebook
*daydreaming
*being depressed

-I need to put a greater emphasis on...

*planning upcoming lessons,
*working-out
*eating healthy
*cleaning after myself
*taking care of my complexion
*thinking pretty thoughts
*prioritizing
*keeping in contact with friends
*planning ahead

-I'm looking forward to...

*spending Christmas with my family
*spending Winter Vacation with Boris
*every new weekend
*my new full paycheck
*meeting Shane again (if it's ever gunna happen)
*my next winter shopping spree (whenever that's gunna be...)
*the next Desperate Housewives episode to come out

-I'm dreading...

*my destructive cycle
*being depressed
*not being payed
*being lonely
*gaining weight over winter vacation (inevitable)
*teaching a particular student
*the day after tomorrow

ganbaranaito

Eiko says...

My life follows two cycle, generally speaking. I have my self-destructive cycle and I call the other one the self-productive cycle.

When I'm in self-destructive mode, I drink, smoke and eat with the word 'destruction' behind all my actions, influencing everything. Everything I do tends to reflect that word during this time. I find packs of empty M.reds all over my room. A decent collection of empty bottles of wine accumulates on the corner table, and the garbage bin for cans fills up twice as quickly. I'm inconsistent with my work outs. I feel sluggish, lethargic, drowsy, sleepy, unmotivated, and moody.

When I'm in self-productive mode, I stay far away from alcohol, I eat clean, and my consumption rate for cigarettes drops to less than one pack a week. I work out at every opportunity, and I'm happier, cleaner, and fitter. I'm more alert, and I get more accomplished. I turn down drinking gatherings, and I sleep early. My skin clears up.

Right now, I'm struggling to climb out of my self-destructive cycle. I know that if I don't soon, my obsession for drinking and cigarettes will be too hard to break free from. It's not easy as it is already, and this particular self-destructive cycle has been going on for a bit longer than usual. It's taking it's toll on me, and the scary part about it all is that I'm getting comfortable in my bad habits. It's not good.

atsu

Eiko says...

I just finished a very insane week at work. It's not like I had extra classes or that my students decided to collectively gang up on me or anything. For some strange reason though, I felt tired and contaminated all week long. NO, it's not because I've been drinking on week nights. I'm consistent with my work-out regime. I eat enough. I only smoke when I'm binge drinking....

It's gotta be the heat! Like 'duh' it's the heat!! The awful stench in the trains during rush hour when your nose is pressed into someone else's arm pit confirms this. All the sweat marks around the arm pit, back and neck area confirms this. Old men walking around in wife-beaters confirms this. Girls showing off lot's of leg regardless of the shape confirms this. The strong urge to run to the convenient store first thing in the morning to quench my thirst with a beer confirms all this.

I can't wait till autumn!

more stuff

Eiko says...

I found this very thin fabriced dress shirt and figured it would be convenient to have at the office, so I bought myself one. As I'm sure you've guessed, it's Zara. Great cut, easy to match up with other items of clothing, and very suzushii. What's not to like, eh?



Ken and I hung out last night over these! An amazing combination of crackers, smoked salmon, cheese and black pepper! The only missing ingredient to perfection was a chilled chardonnay to go with it. Great job, Ken.

holiday begin

Eiko says...

1:26am, tipsy, relaxed, happy, relieved that I was able to make the last train home, amused that I had to break into my own house due to all the keys to my apartment being lost by idiots, loving friends, listening to 'More Than Words' by Extreme, and am beginning a 9-day payed-holiday.

Life is a truly beautiful thing. Although full of disappointments, there are flickers of beauty that far out-shine, and at this moment, I can't help but reflect on those past and present moments of beauty and feel like the luckiest alive on the planet.

Let the fun begin!

Life is damn good!

es sick

Eiko says...

Four days and counting till my summer vacation, and I can hardly wait! Boris will be coming down to spend a few days with me, and we've got very wicked things planned this time around. So, as long as I don't have a heat stroke, collapse and die, I should be having the time of my life in just a few days! I think I can manage to hold myself together until then. Besides, work isn't all that difficult. I enjoy English teaching overall, and the best part is that our office keeps the cooling system running at a healthy level. We contribute to the energy saving in other ways like turning the lights off during the day etc. as opposed to torturing ourselves by turning our English school into a sauna. People aren't paying us to sweat and lose water weight. They pay us to study and to become geeky and successful!

Anyway, that's probably a big part of the reason why I'm still functioning. Although, there's something else that's been eating away at me little by little which has been pushing me to my limit! And not in a good way, either!

It has come to my attention that a great deal of neglect (NOT, mind you, on my part) of cleaning after one's self has been accumulating over sometime around the kitchen and dining room area of my flat. Whenever I have time to notice, I have been making an effort to clean up the mess and left-out food that ppl tend to leave out before or after an understandably long day at work. Recently though, I haven't been able to clean up more than just after myself, and that has been manifesting itself in the sick form of FLEAS! Furious, I dedicated a day-off to scrubbing every inch of my flat, but there are still fleas flying around (although noticeably less than before). It's just sick! I'm not talking about 5 or 7 fleas happily announcing their presence around the garbage bin and the kitchen sink drain. I'm talking about fleas in the bathroom, in the bedrooms, in the kitchen and dinning room area, in the hallways and closets! In these temperatures that we're all experiencing right now, the consequences of leaving any kind of food out even just over night, (or less) is disastrous! I feel like murder!

I finished venting. I'm going to focus on the awesome pairs of shoes I recently purchased and how comfortable they were walking in today. I'm going to start breathing now.

Black nail polish ftw!
It's actually not black. It's deep purple. I just painted on four coats of polish, and you can hardly tell it's purple unless in sunlight. I kinda like that! It's more classy!

beer ftw

Eiko says...

As unhealthy as I know this is, the only thing I can manage to stomach in this gross weather is ice-cream and beer. Just to ease my conscious I throw in a leafy salad at the end of the day (to eat with my beer) to give me the impression that I'm eating tons of vegetables and balancing things out. Of course, I know full well that lettuce isn't all that high in nutrition. But I like salads, and as of this summer the only things that will be making it past my throat and stomach are things that I like or feel like eating. The problem seems to be that the list of 'foods I like' is limited to 3: ice-cream, beer, and salad.

Wait! Make that 4. I can't make it through a day without coffee!

I just can't seem to help not eating! This heat and humidity is killing my appetite! Even if my brain still remembers how delicious pasta is and how satisfying sushi can be, when I'm face to face with food, I just can't bring myself to eat. The sensation of hunger is fast becoming a mere memory to me.

I'm not intentionally torturing myself. I simply don't have an appetite and I'm not doing anything special about it. If I don't feel like eating, I won't eat. I am concerned though that I'll pass out during an English lesson, or while I'm on my way to work, or just silently die in my sleep for lack of nutrition and energy. Dehydration may even do the trick, given that the majority of liquids I take consists of alcoholic and caffeinated beverages. I'm not cool with that.

The solution seems to be fairly simple.

a. drink more water
b. eat more food
c. stop being an idiot about all this

But since I love eating so much, the idea of forcing food and drink down when it's not welcome or when I don't feel up to eating it, is just down right unattractive to me.

We'll see what happens.