action vs food

Eiko says...

When you're emotional, or moody, or stressed, what is your default?

Are you a...

emotional-->ACTION (a run/jog, major pumping in the work out room, punching things, hitting things/people, etc.)

or

emotional-->FOOD (chocolate, ice-cream, potato-chips, any kind of junk-food, etc.)

kinda person?

Me? Well, I'm a girl, so I'm usually in the emotional--> food category. It always puzzled me how guys could actually work out or even put enough power in a punch when they're emotional.

Dude: You know, I've been getting pretty big these days.
Me: Ahhh, been putting on the pounds with all that emotional binging you've been doing?
Dude: Haha! I meant I've been in the work out room to get my mind off of things, you know?
Me: No, I don't know. I mean, I don't understand.

But since most guys work out, run, punch, or hit when their moody, and they all testify to how it helps, I figured that it must really work, and I decided to give it a go next time I'm stressed. "Next time" happened to be this evening. So instead of attacking the fridge (which never has much of anything inside anyways) I decided to focus my pent up energies on a work out, and I was very happy with the results. It got my mind off of things, and I really enjoyed myself.

oh, the winds and the rain

You see, my life is a series of storms. More like a series of taifuns! The moment I see a glimpse of blue sky and sunshine, and I think the taifun's over, the next thing I know, it starts raining again, the wind begins to howl, and then after a while, I'm like, You know what? Junk the freakin umbrella! The only thing it's keeping dry is the tip of my head anyways.
So I do--like Gene Kelly in Singing in the Rain. But once I do that--junking the umbrella and stop fighting things that can't be fought, like rain and wind and lightening-- it's a form of freedom. Stop fighting the wind, stop trying to fight the rain from getting you wet, stop trying to keep the umbrella steady over your head, and enjoy the wonderful sensations of a storm!
It reminds me of the time I was at the LIM and Hiki came over for a visit. I missed him so much! The first night he stayed there was a fantastic thunder storm with heavy rain and lightening that went on till the next day. Hiki and I took a walk as we saw an opening in the stormy weather. We took our umbrellas just in case. There wasn't an excessive amount of talking. There never really is between Hiki and I. But I do remember being in 100% bliss with my hottie brother walking with me through those hilly, muddy roads to the lake, as he made his usual, slightly perverted, slightly-off comments on life. And luck had it, the storm broke out again, and before we knew it, the wind picked up again, and buckets of rain was being dumped on us, and our umbrellas were doing very little good in keeping us dry. So we junked the umbrellas, let the rain and the winds take us, and like 1st graders, we splashed our sandled feet through the biggest puddles, and the fast forming little rivers flowing down the rocky roads. By the time we got Home, we were as wet as the lake we were walking around, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.
But just imagine how boring it would have been if we had kept the umbrellas tightly in our hands, and if we were carefully avoiding puddles, just how old, cranky people do?
Don't stop living life cuz there's a storm. I mean, what would happen if your entire life is made up of storms? You'll be putting your life on hold until life passes you by! Bad idea. Junk the umbrella!!

Answer to Eiko's thought provoking questions

Akari says...

What she asks me these days..."Don't you have any opinion?" and "Why don't you have inspiration for posting(blogging)?"
I'm quite sure she already knows the answer, but really, this topic is the only thing that I have to blog about.

Anyway, I'm quite sure I have an opinion, just too lazy to tell it. The easiest answer for me is to have a stupid grin and say, "I don't know." Eiko gets disturbed when I answer like that because she's afraid if I have become a brainless zombie, or because she can't decide what to read for morning devotions. ;)

And how can I have inspiration for posting when I hate it? That's a lie. I don't hate posting. I'm just terrible at verbalizing my thoughts and emotions, thus making me frustrated, and frustration without fail, drains my inspiration. This may be the reason why I'm not posting so regularly. I'm the opposite of Eiko,(obviously) who posts almost everyday because posting is relaxing for her. Although I may have times when I want to post, those are very rare occasions.

Eiko is continually trying her best to get my inspiration back, but it's not really working. Oh well, at least she made me to post this one. ehehe

blah blah blah...

Eiko says...

If you haven't noticed by now, blogging is a hobby--something I enjoy doing, something that is fun and relaxing for me. So if you can't keep up with the posts, just check my blog out more often. It does the trick.

It's also a stress relieving activity for me, a place where I can rant and rave and fume. I mean, I could do that vocally here by screaming at the top of my head, or ranting about the things that are giving me a head ache, but being that this house wasn't sound proofed at all, I would be disturbing my very studious siblings and my workaholic dad without me even giving them the choice of whether they want to be disturbed by my moods or not. That's why blogging about those moods and emotions is much safer. The reader (you) have the choice to be disturbed by my rants or not, by choosing to not read my posts if you find them ungodly, or if you decide that my moody rants will affect your spiritual life in a negative sort of way.

Of course there are the cows down the road who are always willing to lend me a listening ear and their full, cow-eyed attention any time of day, but there's a problem: THEY STINK LIKE MANURE! Even dear Boris crinkles up her nose when we walk past them.

So, yeah, you're probably thinking, "Eiko sounds a bit disturbed. Will this post be a depressing read and will it negatively tint my spirit and discipleship? Should I just skip down to the last paragraph to find out the conclusion of all this, or should I just not read it and say I did?"

To answer your question, no, this won't be depressing, or sappy, or sentimental, or boo-hoo-ish. I just really, really, REALLY want to finish the bottle of wine in the fridge that Mom and Dad bought for our weekly communion times.

(Note: Icthus Home has what we like to call Monday Fellowships where we have a special dinner and communion and some extra fellowship on a weekly basis. )

Okay, and maybe I am a bit moody right now, which may explain why I'm feeling in need of some alcohol. But WHATEVER! I'm NOT going to give in to temptation. Well, I might, but I don't think so. At least not until I finish this post. (Big Smirk)

Why am I feeling moody? Well, umm...that's like asking a fish why it needs water to survive, or why the cow needs to chew its cud, or why monkeys look like humans, or why I like ice cream!!

I'm a Pisces. I'm moody. K?

And O.M.G! Did you read the post by Akari about our Horoscopes? My Rising is in Gemini, and my Moon is in Scorpio!!! I think I lost some extra sleep over that one. No offense to you lovely individuals who have any Gemini or Scorpio in you whatsoever! It's just that I don't think the combination of Pisces, Gemini and Scorpio is so hot.

I was reading up on my horoscope these past few days, and no matter what the source, they always mention how Pisces people are prone to be dependent on either drugs or alcohol. Alcohol!!! I felt so labled after reading that. Infact I still feel labled... Okay, you know what? Junk the wine in the fridge! I don't need it to be happy. That's it!! I'm on one of my alcohol fasts again. No more alcohol for me! Period! That is, of course, until the next time alcohol is available in big amounts. No, the bottle of wine in the fridge is not in the "big amounts" category.

And you know what? This post is getting long and drawn out and boring so I'm going to cut off here. I bet you ended up skipping down to THIS PARAGRAPH after all. Don't worry. I do that all the time! You really shouldn't feel obliged to read through anyone's blog at all, especially if it isn't interesting. The only blogs I check are the ones with lot's of pictures, because pictures make up for bad writing. So if this post didn't interest you, and you still struggled through it out of duty, then I'd say you have a very messed up sence of duty.

Don't worry though. Jesus still loves you.

Oyasumi~!

nasu wa samui

Yeah, you'll make it ;)

Eiko says...

Dad is starting a new Out Reach project, and he wanted me to lend him a hand with a thing or two which involves my past--the part of my past when I was absolutely mental concerning a few eating disorders. I reluctantly agreed, NOT because it's a touchy subject--it's not.

If you were to ask me about my anorexic days, I will tell you all the nitty-gritty details with no emotional feelings attached, laugh here and there, and even throw in a joke. But I may think you very rude depending on how you ask me. Because although it's not a touchy subject for me whatsoever, generally it's suppsed to be a touchy subject, and therefore, should be treated as such. For example, asking me whether or not my past about my eating disorders is a touchy subject (even if you know it isn't after reading this post) would be nice. I'll most likely reply with a, "Not at all!" Then what you do is ignore the "not-at-all" statement, proceed with caution and ask me if I'm cool with talking about it. I'll probably say, "Totally cool!" Then, you can talk about it with me as if it WERE a touchy subject anyway, and I'll most likely think you're a very nice person.

Although I'll probably humor you even if you casually and carelessly go, "Oh, yeah, btw, that time when you wouldn't eat? You were like blah blah blah,...how did you think/feel about blah blah blah...", I shall permanently label you as a very rude, and unthoughtful person. I mean, imagine if I WAS really troubled by my past, and imagine if it really WAS a big deal for me? I know many ex-anorexics who's past troubles them greatly. So for their sanity's sake and for your own future's ass' sake, it would be wise to cushion your words when addressing topics like this.

But you already know that.

Anyways,

Dad asked me to write up a paragraph or so of encouragement for people who are struggling with eating disorders, or other such addictions like drugs, alcohol, etc. And yeah, I was talking about how I agreed reluctantly. I was reluctant because:

*I'm lazy
*I wasn't sure if I could remember how things were exactly, or if I could come up with anything encouraging other then, "Don't give up. You'll be normal some day..."
*People with eating disorders are stubborn and complicated, and the thought of being responsible for words that are suppose to be an encouragement and help them scared me.

(Note: Anorexic people scare me--big time)

But like I said, I agreed to give Dad a hand, and I found myself in front of my computer, hands on the key board, and deeply troubled by the fact that I couldn't come up with much that would encourage. I would write a sentence, then delete it. And I continued the process several times. I guess the fact that I'm so unemotional about my past makes me a little harsh on people struggling with such problems. So I took a few moments of silent meditation, and decided to take a little trip down memory's lane, and tried my best to feel. A few minutes of feeling my past was enough for me to write a full paragraph of encouragement for those who have the eating problem.

Anorexic people are selfish, self-centered, and stubborn. They may be insanely difficult to be around, uncontrollably emotional, horribly rude, depressed, scary-looking, not fun, and entirely beyond hope. But there's ALWAYS hope. I mean, I was like that once upon a few years ago, and obviously those things aren't issues in my life anymore. See? Hope for me, hope for them, hope for you. They're also going through mental and physical pain you can only begin to imagine, so they're not like that to piss you off. And although they may not show it, they need you, and more then anything, they need to know that you love them, that you will be there for them and fight with them till the end, and that you have faith--faith in them, and faith for a 100% recovery.

And ladies and/or gentlemen, if YOU so happen to be struggling with an eating disorder, yes, there's hope. Yes, you will be normal someday, and yes, it's possible. Even if it seems like every step forward reveals how deep in **** you are, I promise you that if you keep taking those steps forward, even if it's half a step, or a stumble forward, (Heck! Even if you can only crawl forward) you will someday find yourself in a very beautiful place, (and I'm not talking about Heaven) where your present worries and struggles and nightmares are a thing of the past, and if you're anything like me, you'll be able to smile and even laugh at how silly those things used to be to you. I know you want that. So keep fighting. I mean it!!
One more thing. When mom and dad, friends and family extend a hand to you, TAKE IT! Deep down in your heart you know you need that help. Let them help you. Let them love you. Because despite all your excuses and reasons, you need them, and they need you too.

Is life worth living? Absolutely!

P.S.
Somebody once asked for pictures of me during my excessively skinny days, but that's pushing it a bit too far. Because like most girls, I'm conscious of how I look (you know...vain?) and I was totally unattractive and out of proportion, so the answer is no, I won't show you any pictures. Unless you're family. (Note that the "f" wasn't capitalized.)

Silly J.R.R Tolkien!

Nozomi says...

The following will be a poem from a book I got for Christmas from my sisters (Ai and Akari) and older brother (Yuya) called "Tales from the perilous realm" and this particular poem is my favorite. A big hand for J.R.R Tolkien for writing such hilarious things!!

The Stone Troll

Troll sat alone on his seat of stone,
And munched and mumbled a bare old bone;
For many a year he munched it near,
For meat was hard to come by,
Done by! Gum by!
In a cave in the hills he dwelt alone,
And meat was hard to come by.

Up came tom with his big boots on,
Said he to the Troll; Pray what is yon?
For it looks like the shin o' my nuncle Tim,
As should be lyn' in grave yard.
Caveyard! Paveyard!
This many a year has Tim been gone,
And I thought he were lyn' in graveyard!

'My lad,' said Troll, 'this bone I stole.
But what be bones that lin in a hole?
Thy nuncle was dead as a lump o' lead ,
Afore I found his shinbone,
Tinbone! Thinbone!
He can spare a share for a poor old troll;
For he don't need his shinbone.'

Said Tom: 'I don't see why the likes o' three
Without axin' leave should go makin' free
With the shank or the shin o' my father's kin:
So hand the old bone over!
Rover! Trover!
Though dead he be, it belongs to he;
So hand the old bone over!

'For a couple o' pins, ' says Troll, and grins,
'I'll eat thee too, and gnaw thy shins.
A bit o' fresh meat will go down sweet!
I'll try my teeth on thee now.
Hee now! See now!
I'm tired o' gnawing old bones and skins;
I've a mind to dine on thee now.'

But just as he thought his dinner was caught,
He found his hands had hold of naught.
Before he could mind, Tom slipped behind,
And gave him the boot to larn him,
Warn him! Darn him!
A bump o' the boot on the seat, Tom thought,
Would be the way to larn him.

But harder than stone is the flesh and bone
Of a troll that sits in the hills alone.
As well set your boot to the mountain's root,
For the seat of a troll don't feel it.
Peel it! Heal it!
Old Troll laughed, when he heard Tom groan,
And he knew his toes could feel it.

Tom's leg is game, since home he came,.
And his bootless foot is lasting lame;
But Troll don't care, and he's still there
With the bone he boned from its owner.
Doner! Boner!
Troll's old seat is still the same,
And the bone he boned from its owner!