the truth about cupid

Eiko says...

Did you know that cupid is an immature, little kid (I've never seen a picture of cupid any older than 2 years old) who has way too much time on his hands, with no judgement of love and relationships whatsoever?

The fate of love is with that chubby, naked, no-experience-with-relationships-INFANT with wings and a bow and arrow!

He probably just randomly shoots whoever he assumes will be amusing to observe as a love-sick-individual for kicks, and then watches how things unfold as entertainment over a bowl of pop-corn! That's why you see so many strange couples that are just NOT meant to be. Also, sometimes cupid just shoots one lone person with his magical love arrow, but forgets to shoot him/her a partner. We see the results of this all around us! You find yourself madly loving/lusting after somebody, and they just can't return the feelings. It's all cupid's fault!! Catch him! Prison him! Torture him!

Of course there are those lucky individuals who have found lovely partners during one of cupid's hunting sprees.

But you can go ahead and breath because most of the time, God has cupid locked up in his favorite zoo in Heaven, so that cupid will stay away from messing with His great plan and human's free will. Cupid is usually shooting love arrows at animals and strange heavenly creatures, and since everything is perfect in Heaven, he really can't do so much damage. But every now and then, the zoo keeper forgets to lock up after feeding time, and cupid gets away. Being that cupid is faster and more accurate than Legolace could ever dream of being with the bow and arrow, just a few minutes of cupid out of the cage could mean a hundred love stricken individuals.

...

Okay, I didn't just write that, did I?
sigh.